12/25/01

Softball: The Stirring Relevance of Scripture

Dear People,

First of all, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, "Oh, there he goes again, trying to get me to commit my hard earned leisure time to some conceptually precarious potential aerobic possibility, but I know his scam, and I won’t fall for it. Not again, not me, not for the sixth time in seven weeks. There are limits to the emotive resiliency of the human heart, and I for one will no longer toy with my own aortic valvage."

I understand these sentiments, and frankly, you articulate them so well that I’m tempted to have myself immediately arrested for egregious manipulation of the communal trust (A vital but esoteric felony that carries a maximum penalty of life without parole). In any case, the point is that while I now believe with every fiber of my being that there will be several days of glorious dry weather in the days leading up to next weekend, I fully understand while most of you feel that you can no longer afford the brutal risk of recreational commitment. If I were not me, I wouldn’t trust me either, and in fact, I am me, and I still have less faith in myself than I do in my prized collection of healing voodoo rubbing oils.

Given all this, I would normally say that there’s no point in organizing a game, because for now, there is simply too much fear and distrust to even approach a quorum. And yet, just by coincidence, last night I happened to be doing my cherished Christmas Day Bible reading when I came across my 18th favorite gospel, John 20 (Luke 32, Matthew 9, Curly 12). As most of you certainly know, this is the story of the eminent apostle Thomas, who doubted that Jesus had truly risen from the dead, and whose cynicism was so entrenched that he actually told Simon "You shouldn’t be joshing about the Lord that way. It’s freaking me out." A few days later, of course, Jesus showed up in all his post-resurrection splendor, and encouraged a visibly shaken Thomas to touch his hands and face. "Peace be with you" the Christmesiter told him, and then added "Now you believe because you see me. Blessed are those who believe, though they have not seen."

To be honest, I don’t really see what Jesus’ point was, since Thomas had NOT believed until he saw, and thus it sort of seems like the Tomster is being totally dissed. I honestly don’t know. But I do know that this passage has powerful lessons for us as a softball playing people, and that ultimately, it is telling us in words as clarion as a baby hyena’s yelp that we must shed the abrasive poison of skepticism if we are to ever play again in this horrid season of climatological madness. And therefore, there will be a game this Sunday at Codornices at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning……Raymond


12/28/01

Softball: A Brazen Scheme to Seize the Day

Let’s be honest; As I write these very words, the climatological terror is already starting again, and every source I know is predicting another Saturday of pelting and insidious rain---watery, wet and despicably moist. However, these same sources say that Sunday is likely to be wondrous and dry!

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking "So what? The Codornices outfield will still be fetid and malarial. Why do you insist on taunting us, you depraved fascist bastard."

Perhaps. But this time, it’s gonna be different. For unlike most weeks, our beloved Kleeberger Field, that mudless sheathing of verdant pristine rubbers that we used to call our own, will PROBABLY be available. And thus if it’s not raining heavily, we as a people must be primed and ready to pounce. Given this, I have already arranged for Frank to be at the field at 10AM that morning, cell phone in hand, to verify that she is indeed unoccupied. Admittedly, there will be slight risks if we get the go-ahead, but the simple fact is it is now high time to grab the organizational bull by the balls and take control of our aerobic destiny.

Therefore, there will be a Sunday 10:05 AM email clarifying the situation, and all commits should be prepared to play. If for whatever reason you have not been notified by 10:15, call my voicemail. Courage…..Raymond 845-7552

PS: $1 for Codornices/Free for Kleeberger/THREE slots left.

PPS: To get to those gorgeous polyurethane grasses, take Hearst to Gayley and turn right. It will be on your left hand side about 100 yards up, across from the Cal Business School. There is lots of free parking behind the field.


12/30/01

Softball: Sunday 10:07 AM: SCREWED

Frank has just informed me that a bunch of 10-year-old soccer playing monsters are all over both fields at Kleeberger. Another argument for vasectomy/No game. ;-( ...Ray

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