12/24/08

Softball: A Dawkinsinion View on Risk, Rain and Athletic Theology

Dear People,

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I have to be the most twisted pollyannic psychopath on the face of the earth to try and woo you into yet another game. Especially given that we all know full well that there’s a damn good chance we’ll be rained out for the third week in a row, thereby causing 22 more dreams of glorious aerobic release to implode in a finely ground patina of despair-laden aerobidust. Fine, I get it, and indeed if I were you, I’d consider litigation, public shaming and even citizen-arrest if that’s what it takes to shut me up.

The fact is that because my organizational joie de vivre is in a residual state of embittered strain, I had decided that I wouldn’t even bother to set up a match this week. But then it suddenly occurred to me that tomorrow is the 2008th anniversary of the birth of the inimitable Jesus Christ (give or take a decade), so naturally I started to ponder anew. Sure enough, I soon arrived at that age-old question of timeless relevance and majesty; What would the Christmeister do?

Now look, I don’t pretend to be an expert on Christian thought, but it sure seems to me that if he really decided to start his journey in the uterus of a Jewish virgin, got himself born, and then 30 years later had himself crucified as a way to forgive the theft of an apple committed at the instigation of a talking snake 4,000 years earlier, well then, I just don’t think this is the kind of messiah who would now tell me “Ya know, Yahoo Weather is saying it may sprinkle this weekend, so you better plan a TV party instead.” Yeah, I think you see where I’m going with this, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


12/26/08

Softball: A Question of Personal Pride

Dear People,

First the good news; My sources at the Weather Desk of the Estonian Consulate in Livermore are saying that Sunday is likely to be partially sunny and dry, and therefore there will almost certainly be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM. Finally.

Now the annoying news; As of this writing, I still only have 14 commits. Oh sure, I’ll guarantee we have a roster of 18-22 by game time, but let me be frank: If I’m forced to grovel like a common whore on Saturday afternoon, the vicarious taint that results will leave all of you feeling tawdry, salacious and unclean. I think we can all agree that’s not how you want to feel, so please talk among yourselves and get me several more commits.

$3 for the field/See ya Sunday…Ray

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