Softball: WWJP? (Your Official 1PM Xmas Day Sport)
Dear People,
In one of the most transcendent displays of aerobic excellence since this league began nearly 15 years ago, my team crushed Chris Fure's on the final hit of the game, 26-25. Yet the real drama was in the radically shifting momentum leading up to this magnificent dénouement, for the fact is that things hardly looked so taut in the game's delicate first trimester. Indeed, after just two curious little innings, my side had exploded to a breathtaking 19-1 lead, with 15 of those runs coming on six consecutive multi-base blasts in the bottom of the 2nd. It was, admittedly, as if the ball had been discreetly slathered in a patina of industrial grade hexamethylenetriperoxidediamine, but just for the record, I haven't consumed, cooked or even owned that shit in months; Our triumph was clean.
Of course this raises all kinds of issues in narrative ascription. As captain, the Furinator had the wisdom to pull himself off the mound in the top of the 3rd, and by handing it to Broh's stabilizing hurlage, he showed a certain managerial sagacity that nearly triggered a miracle. And yet: The fact is that as pitcher for those first two error-free innings, Chris must take ultimate responsibility for the shellacking in question. And while I'm certainly not the kind of statistical fetishist to keep track of such things, it did occur to me that giving up 19 runs in two innings leaves our hero with a game-equivalent E.R.A. of 85.5. No, I'm not saying that this is an unsightly all-time league record, though I would gently suggest that it most likely is. Kudos.
In any case, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that this upcoming Sunday marks the 2,115th anniversary of the birth of the inimitable Jesus Christ (give or take six years), and so naturally there's no point in even trying to have a game. I mean even in Berkeley there must be some limits, and so even I've been thinking that this upcoming weekend should be a time for rest, meditation and pensive reflection on the insoluble mysteries of the day (or as Mickey's father asked him in Hannah and her Sisters, “How the hell should I know why there were Nazis?!-I don't even know how the can opener works.”)
The point is that I just happened to be skimming through The New Testament last night when the sublime words of Luke 2:4-8 suddenly hit me like a thunderbolt from deep center left. Yeah, I believe that the Lukenator was actually telling us something of deeply modern salience, and out of basic ethical principle, I will not ignore what's right in front of my starkly Hebraic schnoz. . .
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“An angel of the Lord appeared to the Sheppard's outside of Bethlehem, and they were frightened. But the angel told them of the birth of Christ the Lord, which was news of great joy. Even better, they could see Mother Mary and Joseph and the baby named Jesus in a manger down the road (because there was no room in the stupid inn). Yes, Jesus was there wrapped warm in clothes, and he was at peace, for in his sacred little hands he held a tiny tin of cilantro and myrrh, as well as a woolen glove and stick ball. [Apocryphal emphasis mine]
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Does this sublime and deeply misunderstood passage mean that I somehow “know” that Jesus wants us to play softball in honor of his birthday, so long as I give you an extra couple hours that morning to wallow in the familial mirth of some myrrh, kosher ham and late morning Christmas cocoa? In fact, that's exactly what I know, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 1PM (which is just like 11AM except that it's actually a couple hours later), IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
12/23/11
Softball: Holiday Fare (1, not 11)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 1PM (which is just like 11AM except that it's actually two hours later), and as of now there are still two slots left.
This week's field fee is just $4, and because it's Christmas Day, that includes a complimentary post-game slice of day-old fruit cake, lovingly brined in frankincense and ham glaze…Raymond 845-7552