12/14/05
Softball: Formosa
Dear People,
Frank’s team crushed my own, 20-8, but that’s merely an unsightly asterisk to the true story of the day. Yes, after two months of studying our cherished pastime from the deistic neutrality of the scorekeeper’s perch, Jessie marked her playing debut with a nearly flawless performance that assures her status as the greatest athlete from Guanzhou, China to ever play our game. Indeed, on just her second at bat, she smashed a lingering 0 and 2 sinker straight down the third-base line—or at least the first three feet of the third-base line before your basic friction brought the ball to a dramatic stop.
The sheer power of her swing left Frank’s entire infield paralyzed, and to be sure, the dash to first that followed must have brought vicarious goosebumps to all of Canton province. Unfortunately, her first career hit was quickly tainted by an apparent misunderstanding in the legal framework which allows for a tag-up, and thus as Tom O’s blast to deep center-right fell into JT’s outstretched glove, Jessie was already two-thirds of the way to second! This in itself is the mark of an aggressive runner and no cause for shame, but then, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, she continued to barrel forward despite the presence of certain "clues" that such inertia might not have been the most helpful course of action.
Her first hint might have been when she arrived at second, only to find Nanci, her fellow-baserunner, still standing there with one of those confused "Darling I love you, but what the fuck are you doing here?" expressions. The other source of her tactical confusion was apparently a question of the tongue, and while I recognize that imperative phrasal verbs are often a semantic hornet’s nest, I’m still not sure what part of an incessantly screamed "Come back!!!" she failed to understand.
Regardless though, Frank’s contingent succumbed to the excitement of it all, and in a moral victory of incalculable value, several seconds later the Jessmeister exploited an overthrow and a decoy-pickle to scramble successfully back to first. In all candor, the sight of her back in safe harbor left me with a myriad of Cantonian goosepimples, and while it’s true that we’d go on to an ignominious defeat, I have no doubt that we have seen the birth of a giant in 98-pound Sinoathletics.
No, my friends, Jessie and I are still far, far apart on the thorny dilemma of Taiwanian sovereignty, but small are those issues in comparison to her continual mastery of English relative clauses and the vast potential of her aerobic future. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray
12/14/05
Softball: Organization and Justice
Dear People,
There will be a game this Sunday at 11AM, but alas, we are once again already sold out. Therefore, and until further notice, the following procedures will be put into place:
---If you commit anytime on Wednesday and are blocked out, feeling bitter and want to kill me because of the injustice of it all, you can let me know that you will be pre-committing on the following Tuesday for a week from the following Sunday. You will then be able to do so, that next Tuesday.
---Anybody on the (semi-official) wait-list who volunteers to be an ump will get bumped to the top of the list and enjoy other organizational finessement in the future.
---Depending on how things go, I reserve the right to initiate a rotating Wednesday block on commits from those players who have played several weeks in a row (This is to allow some of the old regulars who’ve been a bit slow on the computer trigger to get an opportunity to come back. Regardless, it wouldn’t put a block on any individual player more than once every few weeks).
---A week from Sunday is Xmas, and my hunch is we don’t have enough Jews, Chinese or Pagans to repeat the rush, but I guess ya never know.
$3 for the field, and please let me know ASAP if you have to cancel….Ray 845-7552
12/18/05
Softball: Totally screwed ;-(
As you know, my eyes fill with the tears of 1,000 orphaned garden worms whenever I have to deny you your aerobic release. Unfortunately though, the field is soaked, it’s drizzling as I write, and the frightful nimbostratus clouds above seem ready to burst with even more liquid contempt. I therefore have no choice but to cancel today’s game.
Courage…Raymond
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