12/12/00
Softball: Distractions
(Tuesday Evening)
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s precedent-setting 26-21 aerobic trek into the titillating new regime of mercilessly enforced pitching counts, every individual batter and pitcher now splayed nude, naked and vulnerable before each other, their Lord, and that frisky yelp of "strike" and "ball." Indeed, as each catcher took to their new vocal duties with somewhat disturbing relish, I couldn’t help but notice that not only were their pronouncements made with nearly sublime authority, but that for some, the very cry of "striiiiike" included the most sensually projected diphthong that I had ever heard, the "/ai/" sound itself nearly identical to that delightful rising-falling-rising tone which makes Mandarin Chinese such a beloved foreign tongue among America’s youth.
More startling still was that moment at 1:58 PM, when the first official walk of our community’s four year history dramatically occurred. In all candor, I am still deeply troubled by the fact that a batter can "take" first base without ever swinging a bat, and in this particular case, I think it’s especially disturbing. Oh sure, as pitcher, Peter was showing no more control than a flailing crab, but I also happen to know that more than anybody at that game, his mind at that moment was on the US Supreme Court, the logical result of a genuine and burning personal concern that Florida’s "intent of the voter standard" might not pass muster with the Equal Protection Clause, and more specifically, that the State’s Election Code Section 102.168 could not be legitimately interpreted without binding reference to the timing provisions of102.166.
Yes, unlike many of you, I happen to think that latter fear borders on jurisprudential cow crap, but in all fairness, that’s hardly the point. The fact is that Peter’s concerns were reflective of a deeply held love of democratic processes that undoubtedly made him the finest American on that field, and yet because he was clearly distracted by the profundity of the day, his pitching momentarily suffered. And yet what do we do? We don’t thank him for his citizenship, but rather, we humiliate him on national television by letting his opposing batter walk to first base! Perhaps this is the way it "should" be, but deep in my bosom, I tremble for Peter, for us, and for the nation as a whole.
(Tuesday Night)
I was going to write another cutesy paragraph about some historically irrelevant baseball incident, but having just absorbed
the contents of tonight’s Supreme Court decision, I will instead be retiring to my bathroom in order to barf. And therefore, there will be a game at San Pablo Park this Sunday at Noon, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
PS: In keeping with the spirit of current judicial doctrine, I would like to announce that all members of the softball community are invited to vote on whether we should keep the infield fly rule for future games. In order to correctly gauge the will of the people in time for next week’s match, all of your votes will be due by yesterday at 3PM.
12/14/00
Softball: The Court
There will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at noon, and as of now, there are still a few slots available. Check email (or call) if it rains a lot tomorrow, since even if it’s sunny on Sunday, the city could close the park if they think it’s too soggy (Assume we’re OK unless I say otherwise).
This week’s field fee is just $1, and that includes both a miniature toy replica of an actual "safe harbor" (including a US Navy schooner filled with 25 tiny and DARLING Republican Electors), as well as a somewhat abstract repository festering with the discarded judicial integrity of Justice Antonin Scalia…..Ray 845-7552
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