12/11/02
Softball: The Strains of Organic Growth
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s truly resplendent won-on-the-last-hit 26-25
10-inning paragon of taut aerobic nirvana. Indeed, and despite my team’s ultimate loss, my eyes filled with joyous rivulets of bittersweet tearjuice as Andy lead his gloom-ridden troops back from a 25-19 deficit in the bottom of the 9th, and even his ferocious game-ending double left me with more inner peace than at any time since I discovered Beethoven’s Eroica Symphony on chocolate pot-brownies.
In any case, I would be remiss to not mention that this was the first truly umpired match in the seven year history of our community, and for that we owe eternal gratitude to both Chris and Frank. Oh sure, some of their calls were stark evidence of advanced glaucoma, but the point is that they skillfully retained the raw authority of neutral power throughout the entire game, thus producing a more mirthful and bicker-free experience. I should also make clear that they would have strongly preferred to play, yet they were noble late commits who agreed to officiate in exchange for a guaranteed future slot and a generous portion of flash-pasteurized gruel. All things considered, I think they scored big-time.
I mention this because the games may continue to fill up fast for the next few weeks, and since it breaks my heart to tell anybody that they simply can’t play, I will be thinking of new and creative ways to be as fair and inclusive as possible. This includes making last week’s offer to others who tragically email late, as well as the rare and selective acceptance of those much coveted pre-commits (especially for those who are cyber-challenged, pitiful and continually locked out).
I am also happy to consider any suggestions, though just for the record, I don’t think we should raise the maximum number of players. While I realize that would be tempting, there are dramatic increases in organizational yuckitude whenever we go from 11 to 12 per team, and frankly, the overcrowding that results would inevitably lead to an increase in poverty and tuberculosis as well as lower test scores. I think we can all agree that we don’t want the tainted reputation of retardo jocks, and therefore there will be a game of 22 players Max at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
12/11/02
Softball: Brutal…
Dear People,
Sunday’s game was (beyond) full as of 11:30 this morning. No time to write, but will advise you soon of some semi-frightening organizational anomalies for this one particular match. Courage….Ray
12/12/02
Softball: A Failure of the Organizational Mind
Dear People,
For the record, I was going to close the game yesterday morning when commit #23 came in at 10:30AM, from a kind-hearted semi-regular who was happy to be committing "on time" for what was going to be his last game ever before moving out of state. As you can imagine, I nearly broke down in uncontrollable sobs at the thought of crushing his last chance at recreational release, and when two more female commits arrived just five minutes later (only the 3rd and 4th of the game), my skull nearly exploded in a cacophony of conflicting emotions, rules and values. The bottom line is that I sort of cracked under the stress, and thus if the people so decide, I will once again tender my resignation as community-game-organizer and immediately move back to my beloved log dacha in suburban Kiev.
In the meantime though, please note that this Sunday’s game, and ONLY this Sunday’s game, may have as many as 12 players per team, and in addition, it’s possible that two people may be randomly chosen to serve as umpires (Chris and Frank are exempt, having already rendered such stellar service). You should internalize what I just wrote---In the law biz, we say this provides for informed consent and assumption of risk. A few commits are soft, so this is not at all certain, but if you don’t want to run the 1 in 12 odds of being impressed into officiating duties, you are welcome to cancel your commit. In theory, you could also show up, lose the gamble, and then stalk off the field in bitter despair, but in the law biz, we would say that makes you "look like a dufus."
Anyway, and lest you start to feel jittery and unsafe, I can assure you that this won’t happen again; The demographic crunch will already be over with the arrival of next week’s winter break.
$2 for the field/Check email if it rains/See ya Sunday…Ray
12/14/02
Softball: Double Bummer ;-(….
Saturday Night
As you know, my heart shatters into a 1,000 morsels of vinegar-laden aortal chips whenever I have to cancel a game, but the hard reality is that Codornices is both officially closed and covered with LARGE malarial bogs of unspeakable filth. And barring a 130 degree heat wave early tomorrow morning, there is no way it will be anything close to playable.
Even worse (for me), a huge arboreal monstrosity has just fallen in my backyard, ripping the phone and power lines out of my apartment building. Under the circumstances, I won’t be able to organize an alternative game at Kleeberger.
Patience…..Raymond
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