12/10/03

Softball: Loquacious (A Harsh Reminder of Who We Are)

Let me say right at the outset that as a softball playing people, we are not unfamiliar with the contempt that both other athletic tribes and the sedentary state authorities have shown us over the centuries. Nevertheless, to be hounded from both Codornices and Kleeberger in a single day is a new nadir in the annals of such intolerance, and for this, both the City of Berkeley and the University of California lay splayed nude and naked before the imminent judgment of institutional history.

Indeed, Codornices was somewhat damp but utterly playable when the local coppers swooped down on our ranks, triggering the first Diaspora of that shameful day. Yes, there was some pondage in center-right, but everyone knows that ours is a sport of genteel and salubrious patters that brings simple sustenance to all wetted grasses. No, my friends, the Man did not eject us in order to "protect" the field, and the sooner we accept that, the better off we will be.

Admittedly, the calamity at Kleebeger was of a different tone, but once again, the stench of brazen anti-softballism was there for all the world to see. I mean, it doesn’t take a weather man to know that if we had been playing lacrosse or cricket, those bastards wouldn’t have started ticketing our cars in the middle of the 8th inning, thereby guaranteeing a panicked rush to the parking lot and the guaranteed implosion of what had been a perfectly pleasant game. Obviously not, and that’s not just because those so-called manly sports don’t have innings, which we all know to be the most historically despised subdivision in all of sport.

Of course the real tragedy is that in scurrying off the field in such an abrupt manner, Frank’s team not only lost the modicum of dignity they had left, but they actually sacrificed their claims to the 17-10 victory that they undoubtedly feel they deserve. Yes, historic precedent shows that when the Jews of 9th Century Khazaria took on the Persians in a fierce match of Medieval Rock Ball, they were denied an official victory by the Crimean Sports Council, merely because they fled imminent execution just three minutes before the match was to end, and this despite the fact that they were ahead 41-2!

So yeah, Frank and Jeremy can insist all they want that the game was "official" because it went beyond the 7th, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to insult the memory of our Hebraic recreational brethren who nearly lost their lives in order that we might have the relative security that we all enjoy today. And that’s especially true when one considers that had we gotten to the bottom of the 8th, we had Ken, Jay Z and Broh coming up to bat, and thus in the end, we probably would’ve won 19-18 in ten.

I suppose the real point is that we are an athletically misunderstood people, and while they can always take away our homeland, self-respect and free parking, they can’t take away our pride, at least to the extent that it is different from our self-respect. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices (or Kleeberger) this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


12/12/03

Softball: Contingencies

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, unless there is some major wettage between now and then, in which case there will (probably) be a game at Kleeberger, with its fresh and verdant polyurethane sheathing. As of now, there are still four slots left.

If any ambiguity, check email Sunday morning/$2 for Codornices/No charge for Rubberland….Raymond

12/14/03

Softball: Sunday 9:40AM: Shovels ’n Rubbers

The situation is this: Codornices is somewhat damp and puddley, but the sky is blue and glorious and as of 9:30, it was NOT officially closed. Which is a good thing, since Kleeberger is being used for an MBA graduation ceremony, and if pushed came to shove, I’m not sure they’d move for a softball game, justified as that would be if we were to ask.

So the bottom line is that you have a choice: You can honor your commits and come out to the field and take the (slight?) risk that the city will have closed it by the time we get there (bastards that they are), or you can cower in fear in your little basement hovels and grow a scraggily beard like some pitiful two-bit tyrant. I think you get my point.

See you at 11:00/Three slots still left….Raymond











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