12/08/04
Softball: Suspected Avenues of Comparative Advantage
Dear People,
Jay Z’s team staved off my own, 15-13, in yet one more spine-tingling example of why softball is good, although not as good as, say, fresh, sweet corn. Well, actually that’s what Garrison Keiler would say, but I don’t buy it, and the fact is that if he had seen Darryl’s performance this past week, he would have instantly reversed such a totally bogus contention. Indeed, the Darrylator was responsible for half of his team’s runs, and in what can only be called Deistic fielding, he not only snagged every fly ball that was shot to the sharply sloped tundra of deep, deep, left, but his outstretched mitt even saved a perfectly clueless toddler from an imminent rendez-vous with emergency cranial surgery.
Later that inning, as Darryl lain injured and supine on those lush craggy grasses, I couldn’t help but think of how our own greatest athletes must certainly face the same sensual temptations that seduce so many of our professional counterparts. And so after the game was over and the excitement had waned (or waxed, or whatever it is that excitement does), I quietly took him aside and asked him if he had ever used "the cream" or "the clear." I was curious, and since I wanted to win his trust, I confessed that while I had never done the cream, I had once tried the boysenberry clear, and in addition, I would occasionally rub a piece of raw beef liver on my upper forearm in order to get the same salubrious effect.
He still denied ever using any of them, which initially pissed me off since he was apparently pure while I was now on record as a pervo with organ-meat issues. Fair enough, but just for the record, none of this is aerobically relevant. For in our sassy little community, the cream, the clear and the liver are all perfectly legal, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
12/10/04
Softball: Abstract Lagniappes
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are two slots left. If it rains or climatic conditions are ambiguous, you will need to check email or voicemail.
Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes your own personal sphere of influence in the tumultuous nation-state of your choice…Raymond
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