11/19/03: Arbitrary

11/19/03

Softball: Arbitrary

Dear People,

I’m not going to sugarcoat the disgrace; Over the course of the last six innings in last Sunday’s game, Michael Davy led his team to a total of ZERO runs, despite the fact that his contingent included the fearsome offensive firepower of, among others, Tom O, Jay Z, Jay not-Z, Doug, the Dunkelator and, of course, the big, bad Mikemeister himself. The raw stats of this 13-4 calamity mark a disconcerting expansion of the annoying gap between "potential-on-paper" and "actual performance," and while Chris’ magnificent pitching must be given its due, I am, frankly, left shaken by all of the implications.

Indeed, if this is the best that my Oracle 2Xi team-balancing software can do, it may be time to abandon the entire paradigm for a system in which two blind-folded drunks throw darts at the assembled mug-shots of that week’s player list. Not only could such a process produce more evenly–matched teams, but it would also generate investment results that beat the vast majority of professionally managed mutual funds. And so yes, out of Michael Davy’s ignominy, we will soon enjoy an 8% yield, proving once again that life is just trade-offs—bitter, stern and a total nuisance.

Fortunately, my new abode is now 50% furnished with, among other things, delightful ruggettes that take the edge off frosty bathroom floors. In fact, just this morning I found myself staring down at my tiny little toes as they held tightly to that warm and woolen fabric, and I thought to myself that my feets were joyous, my house was a home, and with a little bit of luck, I will never feel the shame of leading a manly-man-laden team through six completely scoreless innings. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond

11/21/03

Softball: Options

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still TWO slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes either a complimentary vile of sundry subatomic particles or braised Mu Shu Pork with garden greens….Raymond

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