11/15/00
Softball: The Ironic Confluence of Prophecy and Error
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s somewhat subdued yet reasonably justified 29-21 display of clarion aerobic resolve, played out as it was under those icy Minnesotesque zephyrs. Of course the simultaneous specter of savage and sanguineous electoral violence only added to the chill, the focus of our tiny little cerrebelli painfully torn between ball and ballot.
Indeed, a week earlier, when told by a coterie of frightened Democrats within our ranks that "a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush," one humble giant amongst us had merely scoffed and said such fears were not compelling, for it was also true that "a vote for Buchanan is a vote for Gore." Yes, Mikey said those exact words a full seven days before the crisis at Palm Beach, and thus, now upon reflection, I still get chills when I think of how this one single individual can be so politically prescient, so disturbingly sensual, AND so dominant in his roles as captain, hitter and towering icon of the local mound. Of course, his team lost, and lost badly, and this time no amount of recounting will ever change that cruel and harsh reality. Pity.
In any case, and as most of you certainly know, this Sunday, November 19th, is the 169th anniversary of the birth of James A. Garfield, the first left-handed President in the history of the United States. Although he served only four months in office before being shot by some Franco-American weirdo named Charles Guiteau, the fact is that his inspiration as a role model to Southpaws everywhere is simply incalculable. Yes, I’m still deeply troubled by his positions on both patronage and the National Granger movement, but as a leftist myself, I take great solace in the Garfmeister’s legacy every time I wear that scorned upon glove. And therefore, there will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at 2PM, IF I get enough commits this Friday morning…..Raymond
11/17/00
Softball: Artifacts
Dear People,
There will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at 2PM, and of now, there are still a few slots available. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary selection of sautéed snow peas with garlic sauce and a laminated virgin sheet of fully detached Floridian ballot chad…..Ray
PS: There is a distinct chance that we will be forced to play on the North field opposite the one we normally use, so keep your eyes open.
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