Softball: The Cusp of Diaspora's End
Dear People,
My side beat back Steve Powers,' 23-19, in a see-sawing paragon of sport as it's meant to be-joyous, random and replete with so much raw calamity that as a recent student of the Khan Academy modules on pre-humanoid evolution, I believe there would've been 70% fewer errors had we all simply been replaced by a volunteer contingent of 22 Angolan chimpanzees. Indeed, in a curious multi-inning outbreak of rank hurlphobia (fear of throwing briskly, not throwing up), Powers' infield peeps seemed flummoxed by the very orb in their hands, as if it merely represented a potential lawsuit and not the basis by which broad team interests could actually be advanced.
A ceaseless wave of genteel but reckless throwaways past 1st, 2nd and catcher cost them dearly, and even their shameless 6th-inning 5-person ambush of Corey was transformed from a rally-crushing pickle into a kickass 2-RBI triple on yet one more tragically botched toss. Ultimately, then, ours was a tawdry triumph, and while I'm obviously not going to zero in on just one person who was “responsible” for their disgrace, I would gently suggest that their cause was not well served by Frank's poignant caution, curious abulia and 83 geometrically challenged misfires from short. 'Nuff said.
The point is that there's way too much chaos and uncertainty in your lives, and I for one tremble when I think that I could be adding even more to your fragile little cerebelli. However, the hard truth is that I'm currently in tense negotiations with various Berkeley City dundridges on the timing of our long-awaited return to our magnificient Codornices homeland. I happen to know with every fiber of my bosom that she'll be available as of this week, but we can't risk returning without a permit, and the City is claiming that whether they'd show up or not, the Berkeley-Albany Girls Softball League “officially” still has her through December 1st.
As you can imagine, my first reaction to this stance was to wonder just how much havoc this presumptuous cabal of pre-pubescent land thieves is going to wreak, but then I quickly tapped into the more inclusive inner-childhood daddy that I never became, and in fact I am now in the delicate process of getting BAGSL's executive leadership to actually communicate with the City. Again, I know that you crave certitude, and I can promise that you'll know where this weekend's game will be by the time the confirmation letter goes out tomorrow. For now, however, I also know that you truly can transcend all those territorial insecurities that you inherited from your cherished chimp forebears of nearly 6,000 years ago, and therefore there will be a game at either Codornices or Grove Park this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . . Raymond
11/8/13
Softball: Homeward Bound! (Plus: Our Cornucopia of Musical Giants)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still four slots left. Yeah, perhaps I should've been a lobbyist.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes my celebratory post-match slide show on the staggering diversity of our Codornican fauna, aphids and rutting yak…Raymond 845-7552
PS: Have you ever wanted to hear some awesome cool jazz while surrounded by the best collection of grand pianos in all the East Bay? Of course you have, and now you can since Sharmila Lash, Pace's wife and a vital backbone of this community by one degree of separation, will be performing this Sunday night at the Piedmont Piano Company in Oakland! Details here:
http://piedmontpiano.com/concerts/131110sharmilaglash.html
PPS: Speaking of musical communal backbones, Chris Fure, Kora and their new kick-ass funky acoustic rock band, Spoken Road, will be playing at the Kensington Circus Pub next Thursday at 7:00! See the attached poster for a more nuanced approach to the details at hand…