11/6/02
Softball: Yuck (Post-Election Drivel on Power and Sport)
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s wondrous 17-11 paragon of dazzling chimerical momentum. Indeed, as my own team fell to a frightening 11-2 deficit with two outs in the bottom of the 3rd, I found myself concluding that there was no dignified escape from Mikey’s merciless contingent of recreational Huns. Yet as I considered a formal surrender in hopes of quickly moving on to the obviously more enjoyable endeavor of post-softball football, Home-Run-Dave suddenly galvanized our forces with a breath-taking smash that soared deeper into our Bison-filled tundra than I had ever seen before!
Yes, it was only a single run, but it was in fact a defining dialectical moment of stark Hegelian beauty. It transformed our fear into courage and our despair into defiance, and sure enough, my team went on to score the next 15 runs in a row! Of course, this rendered Mikey’s captainship as one of the most statistically catastrophic in the entire history of our league, and for his lovely bride who was there, that’s not a fact that can be easily spinned. Still, I believe that Mikey and Jen will endure, for their wuv always flourishes in the rich and fecund soils of incalculable disgrace.
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In any case, I am well aware that many of you were trudging yourselves to the polls as I wrote these very words, performing the solemn duties of democratic governance that result in the delightful and sundry bozos who so inspire us for the duration of their terms. Undoubtedly, this has caused some of you to wonder why democracy is not more robust in these very games, reflective as they are of America’s true athletic excellence. It does seem odd that an unelected power-sponge such as myself has come to control every aspect of this community, from the makeup of the teams to my bitterly resented quarrel-crushing fiats. I mean, seriously, how did such a cuddly civil libertarian guy like me end up as the Tom Delay of email-organized sport? Frankly, if I weren’t me, I’d be plotting a coup with any and all partisans who had the courage to act.
Regardless, I realize that there are limits to what you’ll accept, and that in fact you have a wide array of other recreational choices. To be sure, even I have been tempted by the nude Sunday morning dodgeball games in the parking lot behind the University Avenue Burger King. Yet despite the flashy come-ons of such lurid cardio-vascular sleaze, we all know that my penchant for stern organizational rule is a small price to pay for a weekly well-run match of succulent softball---aerobic, pristine, and more deeply laden with the sweet electoral baklava of Madisonian Democracy than any other sport on the face of this earth. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Ray
11/7/02
Softball: Escapism
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, but alas, all 22 slots are already FULL. As always, feel free to call on Sunday morning to see if there are any late cancels.
In an appropriate climatological metaphor for the cheery news on the US Senate, the first stupid storm of the season is gathering overhead as I write these very words. It will probably have passed well before Sunday, but I just want to remind you that if weather conditions are ambiguous, you should check email or voicemail before assuming anything. Remember, we are a stout people by both temperament and ‘tude, and thus a little cold wind or light drizzle does not a cancel make.
Please bring $2 for the field, as well as any healthful life-extending grains that you could possibly spare for Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens…Raymond 845-7552
11/10/02
Softball: Sunday 9:22 AM: The Dice of the Brave
Dear People,
Yes, Codornices is a tad damp, and officially closed, AND the local skies are currently covered by a despicable thick layer of ominous Nimbostratus clouds, but life is risk and this is not a time for cowardice. Indeed, if we dissolve into a pitiful group of collective chickenshits, the forces of anti-aerobic obstructionism will have won again, and I simply refuse to let that happen. See ya at 11….Ray
PS: Based on past experience, the odds of either heavy rain or The Man showing up to kick us off the field is somewhere around Level Blue (i.e.…a "general" class of security alert, which like the four other levels, is completely meaningless and tells you nothing. Fair enough). If you’re coming from outside the East Bay and would prefer not to chance driving all that way for the possibility of a three-minute game, contact me IMMEDIATELY since there are others who would risk all for the glory of a match played in emotive defiance.
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