10/18/00
Softball: Sorrow of the Rootless
Dear people,
Congratz to all on last week’s spell-binding 20-18 orgy of all that is inherently wondrous about the softball playing experience. When I reflect on the pulchritude of the day, I think of the lush verdant grasses of our new transitional homeland, the genteel breeze that mellowed the warm mid-day Albanian sun, the presence of so many new and cherubic faces (each as unique and precious as those discrete leafy blades of grass), and of course, the game itself---majestic, taut, and rife with a grueling competitive strain which lasted until that very last out in the bottom of the 9th, when sadly, alas, the opposing team’s tying runner was left stranded at second base, his heroic previous hit suddenly no more relevant to the final outcome than the despicably soiled linens which now fester on my closet floor. Pity.
In any case, and as most of you know, I have always maintained that the Albanian city authorities cannot be trusted. While this viewpoint was always scorned as athletically incorrect, I knew deep in my bosom that if any other group claimed our turf, the Mayor and his cronies would not hesitate to abandon us, as if we were nothing more than the sleazy aerobic flotsam of an unworthy sport. Of course, I did not expect such utter civic cowardice to happen so quickly, and yet I must now inform you that Middle School Park has been reserved for the entire weekend through the end of November, and as best as I can tell, by a bunch of pre-pubescent soccer playing fascists. And people still ask why I’m voting for Nader!
Moreover, I am currently experiencing mild hallucinations due to fever-related manifestations of some kind of totally unacceptable flu thing. I don’t feel well, and the letters on my keyboard are scampering about in a cruel mockery of the QWERTY system that I’ve always cherished. Nevertheless, I am delighted to report that I have just finished speaking with the fine folks at the Berkeley City Parks Department, and that they understand our pain as a softball playing people. And therefore, there will be a game at magnificent SAN PABLO FIELD this Sunday at 2PM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Ray
10/20/00
Softball: A Brazen Act of Trust
Dear People,
There will be a game at San Pablo Field this Sunday at 2PM. HOWEVER, please note that we are still technically short of even the most minimal quorum, and that while I normally would not have yet given the go-ahead, I am simply too busy today to wait around for you people to get your collective act together. Yes, I have already paid for the park reservation, and thus the game will take place no matter how pitiful a response I get from this somewhat spare supplication.
Obviously, I am perfectly aware that I just gave away the only leverage I really have, and that many of you will now frolic in the liberty of maintaining your options to the very end. I imagine it’s reassuring to know that there will be a game to fall back on if your plans for that topless meth-metal rave happen to go awry. Fair enough. Yet I’ve decided to put all my cards on the table and splay myself naked and vulnerable in front of you, because I know that ultimately you are good and moral folk, and that you wouldn’t force me to grovel by phone on Sunday morning just so that you can luxuriate in the unseemly fetishism of pathological indecision.
So if you haven’t already, go ahead and immediately make that commit; This time, do it as a cogent statement to the world which recognizes that while I am only a humble Bavarian cobbler, my faith in all of you is both justified and rational, and not merely the desperate hopes of a deluded loon…..Raymond
PS: As an extra bonus, this week’s $2 field fee includes a spit-roasted Hoffman Farm Quail served with coarse mustard, tender greens and a delightful salt-cured fois gras!
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