10/14/15
Softball: 9:45 Again (A Canine POV)
Dear People,
Chris Fure's team exploited my own sides's ceaseless rivulets of devitalizing injury and rank ineptitude, 23-16, and just to be clear, that was playing half the game under the utterly degrading protection of the 10-run mercy rule. Yeah, when I think that Cory flew all the way out here from Iowa only to find himself stuck in the viscera of such floundering existential drift, I find myself wondering if he'll ever stray from Cornville again. And even Moonie, my darling King Charles Spaniel who came out to watch a game for the first time in her precious little doggiehood, was visibly disgusted by our lack of athletic focus.
On the ride home I tried to explain to her how Michael Davey, Anthony and Lora K had suddenly become unstoppable multi-base slugging machines who gave the Furinator's contingent an unrighteous edge, whereas all of my best peeps from Jim to Paul H were suffering from painful ribs or brittle bones or inflamed ion channel structures and, needless to say, the indelible stigma of floundering existential drift. Of course she'd have none of it, because in the end, Moonie has minimal recreational standards that she cleaves to like nothing less than the shameless bitch that she is. And therefore, because the Albany-Berkeley Girls Softball League will be seizing our homeland at noon, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 9:45AM SHARP (which is just like 11AM except that it's actually 75 minutes earlier), IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning . . . Raymond
PS: PS: Sure, she was dismayed beyond words (literally), but the American people know it wasn't totally my team's fault....
[Picture of Moonie: How to enter here??]
10/16/15
Softball: 9:45! (As in 75 minutes before 11)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 9:45, and as of now there are still four slots left. You should try to get there by 9:40ish, and if you want to get in some batting practice, by 9:30. Of course if you fail to read all this and I end up having to call you in bed at 9:58, you'll be exposed as the communal chrono-dufus that you always swore you'd never be. SO, do yourself an ironic favor and don't fail to read this.
Also, please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes an enhanced post-game exfoliation peel with either a detox drench or an argan scalp treatment . . . Ray
PS: Live next door to me! . . .
http://www.estately.com/listings/info/2600-ashby-ave--2
---In the first photo, that's my cherished red Saturn in the driveway on the left, and from your second story abode, you'd be able to look down on my roof with pity and scorn. Why wouldn't you make an offer?!
BACK