Softball: Droll (The Subtle Confluence of Sport, Livestock and Wit)

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s extended 16-15 paragon of richly textured aerobic resplendency. The sheer length of the competitive battle must have synergized with the broiling afternoon sun, thus triggering a peculiar hallucinogenic haze through which I personally experienced the last third of the game. Indeed, I can barely remember my own team’s ghastly demise in the bottom of the 11th, and yet I do recall talking with a delightful trio of ancient Babylonian clerics in shallow center-right.

In any case, I am now suffering from a sudden dearth of literary inspiration, and thus I am going to stray from my usual musings in order to reprint what a major international survey has determined is "the world’s funniest joke." The poll, organized by an eminent Professor of Psychology and taken over the internet, amassed over 2,000,000 votes for 40,000 different entries. According to the survey, this was the winner:

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"A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?'

The operator, in a calm, soothing voice, says: 'Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.'

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: 'OK, now what?"'

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Personally, I think this is pretty clever, but I am disturbed by other findings of this same survey which suggest that "the funniest animal jokes involve ducks." I mention this because while I do believe that both ducks and hunters are clearly worthy of ceaseless scorn and ridicule, they can hardly be seen as more comically meritorious than, say, the whimsical yak---proud, stout and fiercely mammalian.

I can already feel your cynicism. I suppose that most of you are thinking that I’m just saying these things because so many rutting Yak thrive in the distant tundra beyond deep left field. Well, in fact, their thrivance is well known and widely cherished, but I’m actually writing this now precisely because I’ve studied these majestic East Bay placentals for most of my adult life, and I can assure you that they’re regular wags with a deeply rooted and hysterical oral tradition. So no, I’m not just glibly opining here as a pretext for which to write words like "proud, stout and fiercely mammalian." Frankly, that’s just not my scene. No, my friends, the truth is that at Codornices, we don’t have stupid-ass ducks or hunters, but we do have truly magnificent Yak, and therefore there will be a game this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by Friday noon...Raymond


10/11/02

Softball: Options

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still FOUR slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes EITHER my special post-game lecture on The Design of Analog Integrated Circuits for Mixed-Signal Systems OR a complimentary garden salad with chutney and fresh dill….Raymond 845-7552