Softball: A Quasi-Tacit Proposal of Environmental Amelioration
Dear People,
Chris Fure's team staved off my own, 10-6, in a heart-cleaving denouement that featured two out with bases loaded in the top of the 9th, our tying run at the plate and three of the most crestfallen runners in the history of this league. As is his ceaseless wont, Alan Shabel displayed an incomparable prowess at short, snagging Kira's blistering line drive to left as he frightfully tumbled to the ground below. For 5/8ths of a second, our rally was still rife with the kinetic spark of hope itself, and yet as the Shabelator lain prone on the harsh dusty clays of the Codornices infield, he somehow flicked the ball to 3rd for the final out of the game. If you must know, the entire coup de grâce left me stunned, demoralized and my knickers in a twist.
In any case, I was already feeling premenstrual because of the bitterly disputed incident of four innings prior. I had ruled that a soaring fly ball to left was dead because I truly believed that it came crashing through the leaves of those perennial overgrown branches encroaching on our turf. Others claimed that the decree was a miscarriage of aerobic justice because Doug's outstretched mitt rustled those leaves well before the ball arrived, and the fact is that they may have been right. Yet the real issue is that this burgeoning interloper has now grown to cover a full 10% of our cherished left field grasses, and despite my constant pleas to the city that it's time to prune it back, it sits there year after year, inexorably growing and taunting us. I say, enough.
Now look, am I actually suggesting that one of you fine people go out there around midnight with a carbide-tipped gas-powered chainsaw and slice this overrated arbolic monstrosity down to size? Given the annoying laws against incitement, conspiracy and mayhem, I honestly can't say. But I do know that if we ever arrived to find the branches in question reduced to a giant pile of aphid-laden kindling, then our hitters would be freer, our fielders would be safer and of course the world as a whole would be half a tree closer to carbon-neutral bliss. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at NOON, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
PS: Yeah, it's true; Sometimes I've asked myself what it would be like if you could create a spiritual blend of Jean-Paul Sartre, Pee-wee Herman and Charles Manson in one all-encompassing youtube sensation…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYdhVoWCSVs
10/7/11
Softball: Six Macs Since '85
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at noon, and as of now there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, and for this week only, it's OK if you use your iphone softball app to hit that home run that you've always wanted….Ray 845-7552
PS: The two coolest tributes:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/last-american-who-knew-what-the-fuck-he-was-doing,26268/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4oAB83Z1ydE