Softball: Regulatory Tweaking in the Subprime Athletic Markets
Dear People,
In what was arguably the most magnificent application of the 10-Run Mercy Rule in the history of human sport, my team rallied from a 22-0 4th inning deficit to crush Anthony’s on the last hit of the match, 27-26. I still get teary-eyed when I think of how deep and dark it looked as I peered into the mid-inning abyss, and yet, thankfully, I was already feeling chipper and hale by the top of the 6th. Not only had we scored our first four runs by then, but subtle signs of a shift in the aerobic zeitgeist were already beginning to sprout like pancakes, and I’m not saying that just because I like my metaphors mixed, pointless and nutritive.
I refer you specifically to Ehud, whose long-awaited post-European return to the batter’s box was besmirched by an apparent subconscious fear of actually “injuring the ball.” The resulting four strikeouts made for riveting psycho-athletic theatre, though frankly, Rachel’s snag of a searing 5th inning grounder was even higher drama. Yes, with one out, two on and the first hints that our rally was beginning to solidify, the Rachelator trapped the bouncing bullet clean right behind 2nd!
Curiously though, she then proceded to spasm and gyrate like a stoned and headless rooster, desperately looking for her prey as my base runners advanced with both focus and aplomb. Alas, it took her an additional 45 seconds to realize that the coveted orb in question was lingering snugly in the webbing of her beloved glove (To be fair, I think we can all agree that’s the last place on earth you’d expect a ball to hide).
In retrospect, of course, there will be those who say that my team’s ultimate triumph was a reflection of shameless bureaucratic intervention, and that by applying the Mercy Rule for five full innings, we failed to hold reckless losers responsible for the fruits of their ineptitude. Perhaps, and yet I now believe with every fiber of my being that had my team not been given that extra out per inning, the system would not have held, half my players would have fled or committed suicide, unemployment would have tripled and we would’ve eventually lost, 835 to negative 1. Yeah, pristine aerobic ideology is a pliable mistress indeed, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits bit this Friday morning…Raymond
10/3/08
Softball: Your official Exotic Financial Instruments Sport
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still two slots left.
Please bring $3 for the field, which for this week only includes EITHER a complimentary post-game grazing tray of fine artisan cheeses OR a seasonal portfolio of $60 trillion dollars of worthless credit default swaps…Ray 845-7552