9/27/00
Softball: Sydney
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s spellbinding 17-16 paradigm of crepuscular aerobic magnificence, tinged as it was with the dubious truncation of the game’s potentially explosive culmination. Yes, there were no lights, and it was perhaps technically true that the 9th inning would have been played during what some chronologists like to glibly refer to as "night," but the odds of being brutally beaned in the snout were certainly no greater for the players of one team than for those of the other. And when viewed from this perspective, I think it’s quite clear that while my own contingent did in fact "lose," massive is the asterisk that will forever note our final up denied, the outcome of a supposedly democratic process in which the dénouement of competitive play is now just one more thing to be chosen or voted on, no more or less worthy than the endless variety of deodorants, liver pills and sundry presidential candidates that presently mark the self-actualizing possibilities of our otherwise drab and pointless lives.
Unfortunately, it is still impossible to officially book San Pablo Field any earlier than 5:00, and yet the ceaseless evolution of obnoxiously predictable geosolar relations will only exacerbate the darkness problem in the weeks ahead. This seems particularly unjust in light of our recent athletic excellence, and all the more so given that fewer than four of our players currently sniff pseudoephedrine or other cold-care medicinals. No, we don’t go out and revel in flashy antics or generate scandalous headlines, nor do we engage in Vick’s-70s-metal-style-Robutussin-narco-orgies; we just show up every week and play a noble match of world class softball. That’s all we do.
Therefore, there will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at 4:45 SHARP, preceded by an ultimate frisbee game at 3:45, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning……Raymond
PS: Please note that when you commit to the softball game, you’re agreeing to be there at 4:45 at the latest, which is just like 5:15, except that it’s actually 30 minutes earlier.
9/29/00
Softball: An Urgent Appeal to Reason (Musings on Athletic Inadequacy)
Dear People,
It is Friday morning and we are still SEVERAL players short of even a minimal quorum for Sunday’s game. While such corrosive lethargy leaves me sallow and crestfallen, I believe I know why many of you are so hesitant to commit this week. As you watch the Olympics night after night, your tiny little egos overwhelmed by the rarefied aerobic dominance of so many fellow athletes, you feel intimidated, and perhaps even unworthy of participating in a game as magnificent as softball. I understand that, and in fact, I think such a reaction is both normal and inevitable.
Nevertheless, I would like to gently point out that while these athletic Gods are impressive to the point of frightening, their excellence is pitifully specialized---the triple twist high dive, the axle rod fiber vaulted beam jump, and so on. We, on the other hand, are softball players, and thus have to excel at a cornucopia of athletic skills, from batting and fielding to running and sitting.
Thus, to use myself as an example; I admit that if I were personally forced to engage in a match of Greco-Roman wrestling with the renowned 300 pound Siberian monster-wrestler Alexander Karelin, he would probably disembowel me in a matter of seconds. Fair enough. But, just for the sake of argument, let’s say I was told to go up against the superstar gymnast Andreea Rodicon, that 82 pound Romanian waif whose dominance in the vault and parallel bars has transfixed the world. An athletic paragon? Perhaps. But the fact is that her forte is gymnastics, and if we were to wrestle on the storied blue leathers of the Greco-Roman matting, I honesty believe that I could pin her clean in no more than seven rounds, and at worst, fight her to a draw. And that’s spotting her two swigs of TheraFlu.
In any case, I think you see my point. Now stop making me beg and make that commit, lest I be forced to cancel the only recreational endeavor at which you’re not completely hopeless.
Update this afternoon….Raymond
Softball: The Triumph of Reason
Dear People,
There will be a game at San Pablo this Sunday at 4:45 sharp , preceded by an ultimate frisbee match at 3:45. The field fee is $2, and as of now, there are still several spots left open.
Please note that due to the scarcity of daylight, anybody arriving after 4:50 will be asked to recount the childhood roots of their rebellious disposition …..Raymond 845-7552
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