9/25/01
Softball: The Elephant in Our Living Room
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s somewhat less than riveting 23-13 exercise in stern midday athleticism. The spectacle of Frank’s team floundering at 18-0 in the bottom of the 5th initially left me wondering if I had miscalibrated the scalability quotient on my trusty Oracle 9i team-balancing software. As it turns out though, opposition grumbling soon alerted me to the true cause of the unseemly gap in runnage, which was my beloved pitcher Zachary---just 17 and a paragon of the new youth. Alas, he was apparently crushing their ability to hit with a consistent barrage of dubiously controlled throws that clearly hinted at the synergistic influence of caffeine, Quaaludes and Anthrax.
While the Zacmeister was in fact brilliantly effective, a rising chorus of embittered whispers highlighted the stark paradox of a sport in which the noble craving to hit can actually reward the ineptitude of the hurler. Perhaps. Still, I reject the claim that Zacky’s very presence on the mound was an insidious policy of "geo-aerobic terror," and while I did replace him as a gesture of constrained atonement, I think we as a people need to consider a more deliberative long-term approach to the issue at hand.
Personally, I am still hesitant to go along with certain hardliners who are now suggesting that any pitcher who walks more than five batters should be immediately taken out and shot. Nevertheless, and after careful reflection on the role of both strategy and incentive in the evolution of any given match, I would be open to a solution in which such pitchers were either removed, striped of their citizenship, or denied their favored inter-inning gnawing-cheeses.
In any case, I am confident that as a cohesive softball playing community, we are replete with bountiful metaphorical vats of pure recreational sagacity, and thus we will surely find a proper and Constitutional answer to this most nettlesome of ethical dilemmas. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this SATURDAY morning at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday noon….Raymond
9/28/01
Softball: 10:59….10:59….10:59…10:59….
Dear People,
There will be a game tomorrow morning at Cordornices at 11AM, and as of now, there are still 3 slots left.
Please bring $2 for the field, and because there is another group that has it reserved at 1PM, PLEASE ARRIVE NO LATER THAN 10:59AM. At the risk of beating a dead temporal horse, 10:59 is just like 11.17, except it’s actually 18 minutes earlier….Raymond
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