Softball: Another Wondrous Factoid

Dear People,

Let me say for the record that while Chris Fure’s team beat my own 19-13, we almost certainly would have won had we not made 18 errors in the top of the 6th. The fact is that if we eliminate that momentary lapse in aerobic sobriety, my team held its own throughout the entire hot and sultry match, outplaying the enemy in much the same way that a rabid gator takes on a disoriented punk lion that stumbles into the marsh.

Of course erroritude is part and parcel of all our Lord’s critters, and I suspect that’s exactly why I let zeal trump prudence just half an inning later, screaming with near spastic abandon as Jono blasted a hope-rekindlin’ fly ball into the bone-dry bush of deep center-right. As he darted past 2nd toward 3rd like a crazed gazelle, I shrieked at least five times for him to "keep going!!!," convinced as I was that the acceptance of a triple was neither necessary nor honorable. Naturally, the Jononater heeded his captain’s clarion fiat, and thus he made a last mad dash for home, where, alas, that stupid-ass ball arrived back in Chris D’s sticky little glove, a full four seconds before Jono came pointlessly traipsing through. In retrospect, of course, my exhortations to Jono were probably not "helpful," but in deciding between him and myself, I still wonder who was most to blame. I honesty don’t know.

In any case, and as some of you may have recently read in New Scientist Magazine, researchers in Glasglow have discovered what are thought to be the world’s most ancient genitals, belonging to an extended Scottish family of 400-million-year-old daddy-long-legs! I must confess that I was a tad chagrined to read that these cherished mosquito-eating denizens of the modern bedroom wall, did, and still do, have a penis nearly two-thirds the length of their tiny little bodies. I say chagrined, of course, because I had always assumed that all bugs were in line with the rest of the animal kingdom’s relevant ratios, or more specifically, that their wankerettes were only about HALF the length of their bodies. Discovering this hard entomological truth leaves me feeling vulnerable and foolish, but ultimately, I believe I am a better person for knowing that my 3rd favorite insects are 17% more manly than I had always assumed. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning...Ray



9/26/03

Softball: Standards

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, but as I type away in the wee lonely hours of this dreadfully sunless night, there are still SEVEN slots left. That’s just totally lame and unacceptable, and therefore, you are once again invited to commit any non-listed people that you know, so long as their mere presence would not lead to increased criminality, drug abuse or derisive ridicule of the community.

$2 for the field/See ya Sunday….Raymond 845-7552

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