Dear People,
My team crushed Chris Fure’s into demoralized aerobic powder, 13-11, and that’s despite their nearly heroic efforts at a 9th inning rally. Ironically, they would’ve beat us handily had Chris himself not inexplicably fumbled away an already secured 4th inning bouncing bullet to 2nd, thereby blowing an easy one-out double play. Of course the fact that my side exploited this gift with eight quick runs doesn’t mean that the Furinator was somehow “ethically responsible” for his side’s heartbreaking loss, and yet but for his negligence (as we like to call it in the law), his team would’ve gone on to beat mine, 11-5. Just a little something to ponder the next time you enter the spazz-cadet zone, drop a perfectly playable ball, and then start reassuringly telling yourself “Hmm; That’s OK, we’ll catch up later.”
Still, it’s possible that Chris’ contingent would have floundered anyway, for rare is the path of destiny that can avoid its own abstract perils. I speak of Alan Miller, of course, a veritable legend of the game who was the backbone of their team, and who had arrived that fine morn’ with a wide and joyous smile, some delectable homemade applesauce, and a cornucopia of deliciously moist honey cakes for the Rosh Hashanah holiday. For you curious goys out there, this is the Jewish New Year, or more specifically, the Day of Judgment (or as it’s now often called in corporate circles, Sacred Performance Review Day). In any case, and as you can imagine, the Millermeister was in truly excellent spirits, knowing that he had lived a fine and righteous life this past year, and thus the Lord would undoubtedly bless him with at least two triples, three RBIs and a strudel.
Unfortunately, Alan never got any of those things, though in fairness, the Lord did bless him in the 8th with an unusually painful groin pull. Oh sure, let the atheists and the secular progressives and the America-haters say this shows nothing, but I think we all know what we know, and therefore there will be a game at Grove this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . .Raymond
9/25/09
Softball: Incentives
Dear People,
There will be a game at Grove Park this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are still six slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary post-game tarot card reading with past life regression and crystal healing (Removal of negative influences for members of winning team only)…Raymond 845-7552