9/8/10

Softball: The Zen of Insoluble Mysteries

Dear People,

Pace’s team staved off my own in a rollicking roller coaster of mystical aerobic intensity, 21-18. As late as the 5th, my side was floundering in incalculable despair, 14-3. But then, a spontaneous yearning for dignity sprung from within our grumbling communal viscera, and that was all we needed to score 12 staggering runs in the 6th. Yeah, I still get chills thinking about the contours of our indomitable spirit.

The fact is that at that point, I thought the Pacester’s contingent was simply too demoralized to fight back, yet bitch-claw back they did, and thus in the bottom of the 8th, with two out and bases loaded, the score was suddenly tied at 18. In all candor, the tension was nearly unbearable as Broh tossed a tempestuous 2-1 curve ball, but fortunately, Scott sliced a pitiful pop up to straight shallow left, where Michael Davey was waiting patiently as always with a mitt glazed in metaphorical crazy glue and a 20-year reputation for impeccable outfield excellence.

Unfortunately, and for reasons I don’t pretend to comprehend, the Daveyator apparently misjudged the genteel descent of the orb in question, and while I don’t engage in abstract speculation, it certainly seemed as if any partially sighted toddler would’ve caught that ball cold. Regardless, what we do know is that it inexplicably bounced straight off of Mikey’s buttery little glove before scampering away on the lush surrounding grasses, and thus ten seconds and two runs later, our lead was shot, and shot for good.

The point is that later that afternoon, Mike and I joined a few of the other cherished regulars for a savory feast of Bongo burgers, fries and a coke (ice to the top), and soon enough, we were discussing Stephen Hawking’s latest pronouncements on the origins of everything. As I understand it, this towering icon of cosmology for stoners is now saying that not only is there is no God, but before the beginning of time there was nothing at all! Yep, not even an infinitesimally tiny singularity that triggered the whole damn shebang. Rather, he tells us, “The universe can and will create itself from nothing.”

Whatever.

Now look, and with all due respect to the Hawkster, I’ve taken Philosophy, Physics for Poets and Algebra 1, so I think I know a little something about the nexus between basic math and ontological theory. Still, I don’t really understand how there was ever truly “nothing,” or how nothing became “something,” though when I expressed my gnawing doubts that fine post-game meal, Michael bitterly complained that I was simply “asking the wrong questions.” Frankly, I don’t even know what the fuck that means.

However, I now believe that Michael’s objections may have simply reflected a tacit thirst for simple acknowledgement of a truth not seen. Indeed, in looking back at that catastrophically bumbled ball, it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps he didn’t drop it for no reason at all, but rather because a large and hideous crab-thing spontaneously self-created from nothing, flew into our poor hero’s face, spit in his eyes, and then just as quickly disappeared into the ether—just as our entire universe will also do one day, unless of course, it doesn’t. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


9/10/10

Softball: Incentives

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now there are still three slots left.

Please bring $4 for the field, which, as always, includes a complimentary post-game pedicure for those players on the winning team….Raymond 845-7552