Softball: Hirsute (An Admittedly Muddled Attempt at Connecting the Dots)
Dear People,
Mike Davey's team brutally crushed my own, 24-16, but in reviewing the video, I would say that my side actually played with greater clarity, focus and individual resolve. For example, while it took three of their hurlers to bring us to heel-Alan Brill, Alan Miller and the Daveyator all circulated on and off the mound like a tawdry trio of shamelessly lurid bullpen-whores-David Anderson pitched the entire game with both honor and distinction. Indeed, I believe that he would've notched the win if our infield hadn't played as if it were a giant, finely tuned sieve with mesh-holes the size of cantaloupe.
Of course, we also had issues at the batter's box, where I first thought our dominance would make itself clear. In fact, I had Dave Snyder, Chris Fure and Ken Doane leading off, and in clean-up, the fearsome biceps of Tony MacIntosh to assure their journeys home. Even better, the MacMeister arrived in giddy spirits, having completed four hours of grueling medically supervised hair replacement just the day before!
His delicate cranial frontage was covered with a protective post-surgical cap, but without hesitation, he proudly revealed the hairy little seedlings. I initially gasped, for I realized that I was seeing nothing less than a pulchritudinous masterpiece, as if Georges Seurat himself had painted 1,000 points of budding follicular hope. “Every strand makes me stronger” Tony told me with that irrepressibly beaming smile, adding coyly that “if you don't believe me, just wait 'til you see me bat.”
Now look, I don't “blame” Tony's scalpiphilic quack for the fact that he went 0 for 5 on a fly out, two pop ups and a couple snail-paced grounders to short, but this does arguably suggest that we as a species still lack the robust epistemological framework for predicting the causal effects and interplay of varied and disparate pairs-from the influence of the Arab Spring on the streets of Persian Tehran to the impact of the despicable Asian carp on the perfectly innocent trout, perch and rainbow smelt of the Great Mississippi. To be sure, the data are often amorphous and the associations seemingly random, and it may simply be that the algorithmic solutions we crave will always lie just beyond our pitifully developed sagacity.
Having said that, though, I think it's now clear that while there is nothing so delightful as a towering community giant on the cusp of a cosmetological renaissance, the galvanizing emotions that are a part of his bliss may actually produce no greater athletic performance than if he simply wore a cheap, used and greasy little wig. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
9/9/11
Softball: Stimulus
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a job-creating round of extensive shovel-ready park restoration projects, including tree chopping, outfield garden mulching and the construction of a delightful yak-rutting breeding barn for our feral friends beyond deep left…Raymond 845-7552