9/3/15

Softball: Tar and Gravel

Dear People,

My team went into the bottom of the 7th with the pride of an underdog whose 13-12 lead over Jerry's side was like the taste of raw mother's milk for thirsty little grazing sheep. Of course all ruminant mammals are vulnerable in nature's rich pageant, and our focus and innocence could take us only so far. I say this because the great Ken Doane played for the first time in decades and was our inspirational compass throughout, yet once his hamstrings popped in the 8th, he was utterly worthless in our time of greatest need. That's right, utterly worthless, and I suspect that's something he's going to think about, and think about hard, before his much anticipated return in the Spring of '26.

In any case, and even more damaging, were Susan's Apple-Watch-monitored heart palpitations, and, under the cascading stress of those final innings, Eddie's sudden inability to “catch.” Yet we still played with admirable cohesion (despite the fact that both Gerald and Brad were making their community debuts!), although in the end, Jerry's ruthless contingent simply devoured us whole, as if, frankly, we were nothing more than succulent chops of loser's lamb, 22-13. Yeah, sometimes the narrative arc concludes in mid-missive.

The point is that this weekly drivel is a dedicated record of our communal aerobic journey as it painfully unfolds, and as such, I have no intention of having it serve as my own digitized help-me board. Having said that, though, it turns out that the roof on my awesome Ashby Avenue abode could really use some basic life-extending maintenance, as detailed in the fascinating 'Weschler roof report' attached for your reading pleasure. Unfortunately, though, every recommended roofer I've contacted has scorned my request for maintenance as an unworthy piss-ant job, apparently because they're all totally swamped by the fear of El Pinche Niño dumping 900 zillion tons of water on the East Bay come this dark and ominous winter. I, of course, remain staunchly pro-drought.

Sure, I'm feeling a tad tawdry as I reveal my little roofie's problems to the whole world, and no, I'm not 'proud' that some of my flashings are exposed, if for no other reason than I don't even know what flashings are. But I gotta do what I gotta do (or at least try, before I give in and get the whole stupid roof replaced). So if anybody knows an excellent handyman experienced in the ways of basic roofing maintenance who would be interested in taking on this relatively small but totally honorable job, please let me know. For as Labor Day approaches and we inevitably reflect on the deep and venerable nexus of work, sport and roofage, I think we can all agree that sometimes the most satisfying hit is just a humble little bunt-small, vital and moisture-repellant. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . . Raymond

PS: Now that you've seen my roof, perhaps you'd like to hear my bro: Lawrence, the noted New Yorker intellectual Weschler with spindly legs, discussing Oliver Sacks . . .

http://www.cbc.ca/radio/q/schedule-for-september-1-2015-1.3210858/remembering-oliver-sacks-a-man-of-goofiness-and-grace-1.3210912


9/3/15

Softball: Why is Gmail Tormenting Us?

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday 11, and as of now it is already full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.

Please bring $4 for the field, which, in honor of the upcoming Labor Day Weekend, will include a post-match preview of my long-awaited treatise on Gender, Class and the Nobility's Social Construct of Childbirth in Early Medieval Emeryville, 1945-1972. . . . Raymond 845-7552

An Important PS: Starting with this week's letter, Gmail has apparently become possessed by a bevy of softball-hating cyberghosts. Which is to say that I have 456 addresses in my softball group, but when I now type in “Ray's softball' in the BCC line, only 382 addresses load into the list (actually, depending on the browser I use, it might be 384 or 385). Alas, and after some digging around, I concluded that I'm not going to be able to solve this on my own (To quote my favorite line from Hannah and Her Sisters, “How should I know why there are Nazis? I don't even know how the can opener works.”)

In any case, the thread below seems sort of relevant but after reading for a while, my eyeballs fell out:

https://productforums.google.com/forum/#!topic/apps/GVpzkxD357s

SO: I'm hoping this will soon self-resolve, but in the meantime, if anybody knows how to fix this, please let me know! Also, if anyone you know is asking why they didn't get the softball notices this week, please forward this to them.

For the next few weeks, all those who want to play should assume the letter went out on Wednesday whether or not they actually got it (barring calamity, we will be playing as usual), and if you're one of the random ones who's been targeted for digital defenestration, consider sending me an alternative email address to see if that sticks.

As always, courage . . .

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