8/24/11

Softball: Evidentiary Stirrings of a Paradigm Shift

Dear People,

My team fought Chris Fure's in one of those magnificent and see-sawing battles that pivot on dueling fonts of raw, unbridled firepower. The Furinator himself blasted one of the longest and most staggering homeruns down the 3rd base line I've ever seen, and for good measure, he smashed another one to center on his very next at bat! And yet the multi-tasking strain of his player-captain responsibilities appear to have been just a bit too much for his frayed synaptic cohesion (to put a fine neurological gloss on it), and thus in the end, his side went down, and down hard, 22-16.

Of course the real highlight was the fact that Greg Laddish and Raul found themselves in the same game for the first time in over five years! These gentle, mysterious and frightfully marbled athletes are arguably the two most powerful hitters in the history of this league, and sure enough, both men came through with blood-curdling blasts to the Yak-laden tundra beyond deep, deep left. There is something sublime about watching such rarefied athletic studitude, and truth be told, throughout the match I kept wondering what type of diet or exercise I'd have to engage in if I ever wanted to replicate their manly and chiseled physiques.
Fortunately, I quickly discovered their real secret, for just after the game ended, both Greg and Raul retired to the bleachers in order to quietly savor the stark beauty of the sultry Codornices grasses. And as they relaxed, each one lit up a fragrant, tasty and salubrious little ciggy. I believe that Greg's brand was a Chesterfield 100 (with throat-soothing filters) while Raul enjoyed the more traditional Winston Aerobic-Slims, but regardless, I think you see where I'm going with this.

Sure, you can believe 75 years of shameless tobacco-hating “science,” or you can finally admit that if the only smokers in our entire community happen to be our very best players, then maybe, just maybe, the answer to your own lack of stamina, strength and character can be found with those deeply misunderstood heroes named Benson and Hedges. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

PS: If you're looking to rent out a room, I would consider this guy:

http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html


8/26/11

Softball: Bezerkeley

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still five slots left.

Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes your choice of a complimentary pre-game tarot card reading, tongue piercing or lovingly supervised exorcism….Raymond 845-7552

PS: The stark beauty of nature (“photo”):

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/25/giant-rat-at-brooklyns-ma_n_937316.html

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