8/24/05: Softball: Residual Topicalities From My Northwest Imprisonment Softball: Residual Topicalities From My Northwest Imprisonment Dear People, Lest you ever forget that sport is all about brutal moral dilemmas, I offer the following for your contemplative inner ethicist: With my team holding a five-run lead in the top of the 9th, Jonny popped up to the right of the first base line. Now I normally would have snagged that ball clean, but the fact is that I froze in fear and let if drop foul, for I simply could not bring myself to wade into the despicable pondage that had formed right there from a broken underground pipe. I suppose one could argue that it was an act of cowardice, and yet, I think that those spontaneous taunts of "Captain Chickenshit" were way out of line, especially since they were coming from my own teammates. Indeed, had I scurried into the muck, my little shoes and socks would have gotten thoroughly soaked, thereby exposing me to flu, spontaneous water-born Turrets Syndrome, and even tertiary syphilis. Given my position of leadership, was I really expected to take those kind of risks? I don’t think so, and regardless, it was already clear that Jonny’s pop-up was symbolic of a more general malaise that infected Jeff W’s entire team, almost as if they themselves were wallowing in a deep syphilitic stupor. The point is that my team still triumphed, 19-14, proving once again that favored is the side which stays focused, dry and STD-free. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond 8/26/05 Softball: The Varied Forms of Struggle Dear People, There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still seven slots left. You are therefore invited to commit anybody you know, so long as they’re not annoying, violent or psycho. For the record: 1) I had a subject heading on this week’s email, but AOL, in its constant drive to destroy our community, expunged it whole with a brazen display of shameless Cybercomstockery. 2) I called Park Maintenance at the City of Berkeley (another institution with an inexplicable hatred of unaffiliated email-organized softball), and they assured me that the pipe leak that’s creating the contemptible lake between the bleachers and first base would be fixed immediately. 3) I have now gone to three major sporting goods stores, but none have had baseball bases in stock. Nor does Toys R Us (Emeryville), or, for that matter, Whole Foods. In any case, this week’s field fee is just $3, and that includes all necessary vaccines as well your choice of fresh seasonal legumes…Raymond 845-7552

8/24/05

Softball: Residual Topicalities From My Northwest Imprisonment

Dear People,

Lest you ever forget that sport is all about brutal moral dilemmas, I offer the following for your contemplative inner ethicist:

With my team holding a five-run lead in the top of the 9th, Jonny popped up to the right of the first base line. Now I normally would have snagged that ball clean, but the fact is that I froze in fear and let if drop foul, for I simply could not bring myself to wade into the despicable pondage that had formed right there from a broken underground pipe. I suppose one could argue that it was an act of cowardice, and yet, I think that those spontaneous taunts of "Captain Chickenshit" were way out of line, especially since they were coming from my own teammates.

Indeed, had I scurried into the muck, my little shoes and socks would have gotten thoroughly soaked, thereby exposing me to flu, spontaneous water-born Turrets Syndrome, and even tertiary syphilis. Given my position of leadership, was I really expected to take those kind of risks? I don’t think so, and regardless, it was already clear that Jonny’s pop-up was symbolic of a more general malaise that infected Jeff W’s entire team, almost as if they themselves were wallowing in a deep syphilitic stupor.

The point is that my team still triumphed, 19-14, proving once again that favored is the side which stays focused, dry and STD-free. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond

8/26/05

Softball: The Varied Forms of Struggle

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still seven slots left. You are therefore invited to commit anybody you know, so long as they’re not annoying, violent or psycho.

For the record:

1) I had a subject heading on this week’s email, but AOL, in its constant drive to destroy our community, expunged it whole with a brazen display of shameless Cybercomstockery.

2) I called Park Maintenance at the City of Berkeley (another institution with an inexplicable hatred of unaffiliated email-organized softball), and they assured me that the pipe leak that’s creating the contemptible lake between the bleachers and first base would be fixed immediately.

3) I have now gone to three major sporting goods stores, but none have had baseball bases in stock. Nor does Toys R Us (Emeryville), or, for that matter, Whole Foods.

In any case, this week’s field fee is just $3, and that includes all necessary vaccines as well your choice of fresh seasonal legumes…Raymond 845-7552

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