8/21/02
Softball: Vital Notes on the Public Health
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s triumphant 19-17 return to softball as we know and cherish it, with two real teams, not three, 11 players per side, not four, and the traditional je ne sais quoi that flourishes anew whenever 22 individual psychotics unite to play a game that is objectively nothing more than a curious ritual of stick wielding, ball fetching and intermittent bickering. Sure, call me bitter because my team lost again, but regardless, and in all candor, I sometimes wonder if anthropologists from Neptune would inevitably conclude that between us and a roaming pack of playful Tanzanian rutting hippos, those wondrously randy pachyderms are in fact the more socially advanced reflection of aerobic life on earth. I honestly don’t know.
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In any case, I would like to take this time to humbly ask for your understanding and patience. As best as I can tell, my computer address book has been infected with some kind of insidious viral-worm-thing that has been sending out a variety of sundry letters that purport to come from me, but which in fact, are not of my pennage. Virtually all of these missives are textless and fairly innocuous with nonsensical stupid-ass subject headings, but a few have been kind of creepy, and to those of you who have received them, I truly apologize. Yes, my name is Raymond Weschler, and I apparently have a festering outbreak of herpetic cybersores.
For the record, I have received a lot of conflicting advice on how to get rid of this contemptible contagion, and while I hope to soon employ some effective anti-virus software, I want you to know that if necessary, I will not hesitate to toss my Mac into an industrial-size vat of boiling penicillin and vinegar. In the meantime, though, you should not open any unexpected email attachments that come from my address, especially if the accompanying letter is titled something like "Yo Mama Done Bad."
I realize that this is once again making some of you feel vulnerable and unclean, and while I have no doubt that whoever coded this digital monstrosity is some kind of softball-hating al-Qaidaesque pervo, I have no choice but to continue organizing games that will bring you desperately needed succor and hope. Slay me if you must, but that’s what I do. Loggins and Messina. Laurel and Hardy. Succor and Hope. I think you see my point. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond
8/23/02
Softball: Collateral
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and of now, there are still TWO slots left.
Please bring $2 for the field, payable in cash, scrip or virgin notes of trust deed, fully secured by local residential crack houses….Raymond 845-7552
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