Softball: Decisions (The Majesty of Recreational Self-Governance)
Dear People,
My team pulverized Anthony’s 28-21, and while there was bitter mumbling that I had stacked my own contingent with better hitters, fielders and kinesiological ethicists, I think the primary problem was that all those honorable players on his side were inexplicably acting as if they had imbibed a chilled carafe of Vicks Nyquil PM. Sure, it’s dispiriting when its 90 degrees and humid and your team’s down by 16 runs in the 7th, but that is precisely the moment when true athletes look deep into the marrow of their bones, calmly assess the situational crisis, and then defiantly rise up against the utterly crushing odds! Alas, it now appears that in organizing the teams, I may have neglected to give Anthony’s side any true athletes. Pity.
In any case, and speaking of issues of organizational import, I have decided that two festering controversies must now be dealt with decisively, lest they once again cause us consternation and gout. Of course because we are an aerobic democracy, I will let you as a softball-lovin’ people decide on the following:
1: For the last several years, we have deliberately played without the infield fly rule, in large part because I believe we are simply not good enough to assume that we could actually catch the majority of the pop ups that this rule covers at the professional level. In fact, that’s been shown over and over to be true, and yet some have made the case that to disallow the rule invites chaos, since our perfectly innocent base runners are left vulnerable to double plays in the event of an incompetently dropped ball.
After much soul-searching, I would like to propose that we still play without the rule, but that for now on, in those cases where an infield pop up is dropped, no double plays would be allowed (of course intensive ridicule of the butter-fingered goat would still be encouraged). I realize that this compromise is sure to enrage the ideologues on both sides of this emotional debate, and yet I personally think it’s a clean solution that passes constitutional muster.
2: I have always preferred to send out these pieces of drivel using the ‘to’ instead of the ‘cc’ form of email address, since I think that this practice fosters a sense of genuine aerobic community (A cozy little GAC, if you will). Of course life is trade-offs, and I have also been aware that doing this could theoretically increase your risk of getting a contemptible case of cyber-syphilis. Nevertheless, I’ve been willing to take this chance if for no other reason than I’m not you.
It turns out however that there is now another factor I need to throw into the mix. I was recently talking to Jonny in Australia. Yes, that Jonny—the most consistently feckless captain in the history of our community, and yet a person who I cherish more than life itself. Anyway, he was whining about the fact that when he reads these emails on an iphone or other such device, it apparently takes about a week for the addressee list to download. Well, I still think that’s a small price to pay for a chance to bond with your fellow-athletes, but I am willing to be told otherwise.
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I welcome your thoughts on either issue, and will report back on your feedback at the next game. Frankly, it would be easier to ignore your concerns and carry on as the brutal aerobic tyrant that I’ve always delighted in being, but I’ve also concluded that it’s occasionally best to charm you all with an ostentatious display of annoying majoritarian rule. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
8/21/09
Softball: A Purrbox to Call Your Own!
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now there are still, shamefully, six slots left. You are therefore invited to commit any non-community people you know, including any of the 3,500 friends who form the emotive core of your Facebook network.
Please bring $4 for the field, which in fairness, is a small price to pay for the grass, the tundra, and of course, the magnificent feral yak who call Codornices their barn…Raymond 845-7552
PS: Speaking of magnificent animals, Chris and Frieda have a fabulous kitty that is in need of a loving home. I’ll let them speak for themselves below, but I would just like to say that I have looked directly into Sasha’s gorgeous blue eyes, and deep within her feline essence, I see a delightful blend of Felix the Cat and Ty Cobb. . .