Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week's eerily sensual yet slightly torpid 16-6 exercise in swirling aerobic emotions, replete as it was with the good cheer of a succulent post-game barbecue drenched in the lugubrious reality an era now closed. I must confess that as that beloved beagle-schnauzer traipsed through the Codornices infield---oblivious to the fact that he was enjoying the penultimate day of his Berkeley-based youth---I could not help but wonder if Manhattan would afford him the same opportunities of recreational and intellectual growth that we have provided him for over two years running. This question gnawed at me throughout the middle innings, and while not one to cop a cheap excuse, I do believe that this melancholy distraction was the only possible explanation for why I ground out to short four times in a row.
In any case, it is time to move forward, and fortunately, there is galvanizing reason to do so. For as most of you know, it turns out this Sunday, August 22nd, is the 132nd anniversary of the birth of Tim "Bulldog" Hurst, the first umpire in the history of Professional baseball to be ejected from his job for unsportsman like conduct! 'Ol Bulldog was not a spineless arbitrator of the touchy-feely school, but rather a stout and principled ump who held fast in the face of challenge, often articulating the zeal of his convictions by spitting directly into the eyes of those players who ever argued over the accuracy of his calls.
More compelling still is what happened after Timmy was booted from his umpireship at the end of the 1897 season. In fact, he went on to manage the St. Louis Browns for one glorious year, in which he promptly led them to dead last in a 12 team league! I suspect that rare is the individual whose range of skills allows for such forceful applied neutrality AND focused partisan leadership, and yet there it is, in this inimitable legend of sport, age 132 this very weekend.
Therefore, there will be a game this Sunday at 11AM at Codornices Field, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. Yes, I know there are reasons to despair, what with Lucky's recent departure and Kasparov's accelerating humiliation of "the world" in the current cyberchess debacle, and of course, the unsettling spike in sorghum prices on the Botswanan futures exchange. Nevertheless, I believe that you can muster the strength necessary to make that commit; Do it for Tim "Bulldog" Hurst, whose willingness to accost spoiled overpaid athletes is an inspiration to all of those who still yearn for discipline and rigor within our professional athletic classes...Raymond