Softball: Another Backbone Gone
Dear People,
In his final aerobic act before leaving America, and in one of the most exhilarating game-ending hits in the history of human sport, Jonny smashed a one-out two-on missile-like fly into the sloped yak-grazing tundras beyond center-left, and in so doing, led his team to a spleen-tingling come-from-behind 13-12 victory over my own (and I’m not writing that just because I relish a well-crafted sentence that’s replete with hyphenated adjectives). Regardless, and in all candor, it was one of the most emotionally complex moments of my entire young life, for while I was waylaid by the grief of having lost in such a heart-rending denouement, I was also drenched in the pride of knowing that after nine long years of unsightly athletic floundering, my little South African cauliflower is now leaving us as a triumphant paragon of all that is possible with boundless maternal love, raw determination and the apparent intervention of a shameless Hebraic God.
In fact, just yesterday I was talking on Skype to Jonny’s beloved ma in Jo’Burg when I told her the wonderful news, and at first she became so teary-eyed that I thought she would lose it right then and there. “Are you sure it was MY baby who hit that ball?” she haltingly asked with a tentative tone of pride and fear, adding “I mean, he was so frail and ineffectual as a boy, and frankly, all he’s added since is the belly.” At that point my own eyes began to moisten, and as I reassured her that it was indeed Jonny who made that hit, I told her how proud we all were. “He’s gonna kick some athletic ass in Melbourne,” I insisted between tears, adding “They won’t realize for days that he actually sucks.”
At that point I couldn’t hold back, and soon both Mrs. Sagorin and I were sobbing hysterically. I quietly cursed Skype for exposing my girly inner tenderness, and then, before cyber-hugging her goodbye, I admitted between sobs that I wasn’t sure if our community could even survive without him. “Yes, I know” she whimpered, curiously adding that “Without my little Jonathon, you’ll find the well is so deep and the path so dark. So very dark and deep. Especially dark.” And then suddenly my Mac crashed and all was (thankfully) silent.
The point is that by the time you read this, Jonny will probably be on some lame-ass 15-hour flight to the great down under, no doubt wailing hysterically as he finally realizes what he has done. The fact is that I tried to convince him for weeks on end that the Taliban permanently outlawed softball in Australia well over 200 years ago, but he simply refused to listen. Yeah, you do what you can and then you move on, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, If I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
8/15/08
Softball: Suspicions
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still four slots left.
Please bring $3 for the field, which for this week only includes my long-awaited post-game workshop on mastering your double-flip dismount from the parallel bars (highly recommended if you’re always taking that dreaded extra step backward, or just simply if you’re a frisky teen who weighs under 90 and looks like you’re 10)…Raymond 845-7552