Softball: Balls
Dear People,
Anthony’s team pulverized my own 17-7, and I gotta’ tell ya, the whole thing made me feel debased and unclean. Of course I never suffered as much as the Antmeister himself, whose heroic guidance would be centered around his new 3rd base perch. Frankly, I had a lingering unease when he told me that he would be coming in from his normal position in the outfield, but he quickly reassured me of his decision-making sagacity. “Ray” he said with those alluringly innocent eyes, “this is softball; what could possibly happen?”
Unfortunately, the Capeman may have failed to consider the broad variance in ballular celerity between a high fly to deep center-left and a sharp blast down the 3rd base line. I mention this because sure enough, and on the very first pitch of the game, Chris Fure let loose on an enticing young curve ball. Now look, I’m still too queasy to tell you exactly what happened, but I can say that it’s probably not a good idea to try to stop a blistering line drive with the delicate genetic heritage of your future progeny.
Amazingly though, Anthony was keeled over for only a couple minutes, and then, true to his superhero status, he was quickly up and about, leading his shaken contingent to a captivating triumph of aerobic justice, leadership-by-inspiration and raw gonadal resilience. I mention all this because I’m not ashamed to say that if I had been him, I would’ve immediately contracted into the frozen mold of a tightly coiled fetus, where I would’ve remained until either Broh or Ruth agreed to anesthetize me into a deep 12-hour swoon of genteel unconscious recovery.
Of course I’ve never claimed to be the stoic type, and even worse, I suppose I’m a fool for never wearing a cup (though in fairness, I will occasionally carry a tiny little stein or even a dull butter knife). Regardless, I think we can all recognize that our chosen sport is fraught with both promise and pain, and in Anthony, we now have a towering symbol of why we’d prefer to avoid the latter. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
8/7/09
Softball: Scholarly
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, there are still four slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary one year subscription to The UCLA Journal of Trout, Sturgeon and other Pacific Fishes…Raymond 845-7552