Softball: A Pre-London Farewell Feast
Dear People,
It would be easy to say that Chris Fure's team ambushed my own with the amoral brutality of a plunging bond market run predictably amuck, but I don't think that adequately elucidates the unseemly 14-3 rout which left my side feeling so spiritually denarded. The fact is that during a grueling round of pre-game batting practice, David 'Lincoln Legs' Anderson took a searing line drive to his ankle that quickly swelled up like an engorged and rancid passion fruit. Frankly, I nearly lost my breakfast when he showed me the hideous ouchy in question, yet he discretely hid it beneath his pants, and then went on to stoically pitch nine brilliant innings.
Except in the top of the 5th. In that one frightful inning, this master of the mound gave up 11 runs on a walk, 17 hits and a few dozen errors, so yeah, that part wasn't so brilliant. Yet for the record, if you toss out that anomalous collapse into the Twilight Zone, the fact is that David held his statistical own against Alan Miller, who in fairness, was also magnificent with his ruthlessly effective curve, spit and cudballs. Of course this all begs the question; Is David any less of a man just 'cause he's bereft of a cudball? No, I don't think so.
The point is that this community will always be replete with heroes of subtle yet staggering athletic pulchritude, and perhaps no one more so than Tom Bilyard. Unfortunately, after two short but glorious years, good 'ol Billiard Boy will play his last American softball game this Sunday before departing with Anne for their beloved childhood flats next to the organic mash and banger shop across from Trafalgar Square. Yes, my friends, they're British to the core and if we're being honest, we just have to accept that we don't really understand them or their curious ways, but in my book, that's all the more reason that there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, FOLLOWED BY our first of the year bring-your-own-meat send-off potluck barbecue, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning.
Please let me know if you're coming to the barbie (friends, family and embittered ex-lovers are always welcome), and if so, what communal contribution you plan to bring. Highly recommended offerings include barbecue grills, coal, lighter fluid, blankets to sit on, card tables, paper towels, plates and cups, tons of ice, soft drinks, juices, beer, more ice (bonus points if finely crushed), spatulas, real knives and plastic silverware, side salads, fine breads and cheeses, condiments, onions, mayo, brownies, cake, assorted fresh fruit, raw vegetables, and if you're really feeling inspired by the bittersweet anticipation of their long-awaited homecoming, a seasonal plate of chilled jellied eels and freshly braised haggis, lovingly served with tatties, bashit neeps and a generous glaze of pure English whiskey….Raymond
7/29/11
Softball: Time to Grill!
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now there are still three slots left. In addition, there will be a post-game farewell potluck barbecue for Tom and Anne, who will soon be on a plane to a strange, forlorn and softball-bereft land. I guess ya have to do what ya have to do.
Please bring $4 for the field, and if you're staying for the barbie, your meat and/or communal contribution. In Tom and Anne's honor, and just before we scarf, I'll be briefly reading from a generous range in the broad English Canon, including:
Clause 61 from the original Magna Carta (1215)
Desdemona's proclamation of love for Othello (Shakespeare, 1603), and
Lyrics to “Mrs. Brown, You've got a Lovely Daughter” (Herman's Hermits, 1965).
See you Sunday….Raymond 845-7552