7/27/05
Softball: Philadelphia (The Rules of Engagement)
Dear People,
In a time when the US Supreme Court wobbles precariously anew on the fulcrum of a really disturbing tipping point, I can’t help but think of my majestically sensual 7th inning pop-up down the 3rd-base line, and I’m not just saying that because I like to link incongruous concepts in my opening drivel. The fact is that as that ball came tumbling back to earth, Don Loeb should have easily snagged it, but instead, and for reasons I don’t pretend to understand, he let it drop right in front of his distressed little face before inexplicably kicking it deep into the forested tundra beyond the left-field bleacher. I think you see where I’m going with this.
In any case, Don’s performance remained curiously "unhelpful" for Ellen’s team, and thus as I rounded 3rd, the Loebster scurried for the ball, found the orb in question, and then with every caloric fiber of his being, hurled it directly into the perfectly innocent trunk of a large stately Oak. Of course this little tale is not about arboreal rights (though for what it’s worth, that tree needs counsel, and needs it badly), but rather about the fiercely contested nature of aerobic law itself. Allow me to explicate, if you’d be so kind:
Although I darted for home as soon as Don assaulted the overrated bark-stick, I was called back to 3rd after Alan Miller insisted, with cogent legal analysis, that once the ball was kicked into foul territory, it was as dead as Earl Warren’s corpse. It was a harsh analogy, but a compelling one, for as Alan made clear, we can’t arbitrarily stray from the rules of our founding fathers—and thus, just as an overthrow to first can kill that play in its tracks, so it should be with a kick to the Yak-laden soils of the left-field line. At that moment, I was annoyed, but convinced.
Quickly though, Jeff Wilcox’s eyes bulged with righteous dissent as he pointed out that no self-respecting Jurist should be so easily hoodwinked, and that in fact, Don’s kick is not at all comparable to a first-base overthrow, since he never had control of the ball ! [my italics, since italics add sass]. At first I was stunned by the force of his logic, and then as others joined the fray and I weighed the competing arguments, I realized why I had gone to law school all those years ago; Because, every now and then, not often, but occasionally, the law leads us all to recreational justice.
Of course, let’s not kid ourselves; "Miller v. Wilcox " was about as painfully boring as it gets, and in retrospect, the appeal of such not-so-stirring debates is why I never became a lawyer. I guess the point is that even though I agreed to go back to 3rd and ended up scoring anyway, my team still fell to Ellen’s, 17-15, proving once again that ruthless athletic tyranny is a more efficient way to victory. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
7/29/05
Softball: Two Announcements of Import
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are three slots left. This week’s field fee is $3. Three is my third favorite color. Eerie.
-----------------------------
In any case, the following is worthy of note:
1) This Sunday is Jonny’s birthday!. In lieu of nothing, he asks everyone to bring expensive gifts and to join him at a post-game pot-luck barbecue at his house in the City, around 3ish.
His address is 881 Kansas Street, San Francisco, Ca, 94107.
(Email: siggy@toast.net)
2) WOMEN ONLY!!:
As you may know, I have wasted another year of my life co-writing a book with my sister about teenage girls and their utterly sublime menstrual cycles. Well, we’re just about done, but we still need you, the vital female softball-list peoples, to fill in the final touches. Please read the following solicitation from Toni and then do the right thing. For the record, any vignettes involving Jonny will not be accepted…
SEEKING SEX-POSITIVE (AND NEGATIVE) VIGNETTES
FOR GROUNDBREAKING BOOK!
I am in the final stages of writing a progressive book on reproductive health for teen girls. I want to be able to include ANONYMOUS personal stories relating to any of the issues listed below which you may have experienced as a teenager.
You can choose any pseudonym you would like it to be published under. All I ask is that you include your age now and back then, and an appropriate email address in case I need to contact you to edit it. Your story will remain completely private and anonymous. Ideally, each experience shouldn't be more than a paragraph. I need them ASAP, since I'm already over my deadline!
Thanks so very much for helping to contribute to this empowering new book. And remember, I'm looking for both positive and negative experiences. List to follow.
Toni Weschler
toni@TCOYF.com
(Author of Taking Charge of Your Fertility, as well as this teen book in progress, entitled: Cycle Savvy.)
-----------
EXPERIENCES PERTAINING TO ISSUES SUCH AS:
Unplanned pregnancy
Contracting STD (especially incurable one such as herpes)
Loss of reputation
Date rape (or way you avoided it)
Emotional vulnerability (or speaking up and feeling empowered)
Succumbing to pressure (or not!)
Double standard of studs vs. sluts
Disappointment with the experience of young sex (or way it was positive)
BACK