Softball: Scientific Americans
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s explosive 21-9 paragon of bifurcated aerobic momentum run eerily amuck. As best I can tell, Michael Davy’s loyal contingent of athletic has-beens fought to a gallant 8-7 lead through the bottom of the 7th, when suddenly their very will to win leeched away from the salty marrow of their brittle bones. I can’t begin to imagine the humiliation that Michael must have felt, knowing that his cherished son Eli was witness to this ghastly collapse of competitive integrity. Of course the little tyke is just eight years old and filled with the quixotic faith in his pa that only a deluded child could have, and thus after that game, I wondered if he had any trust left in anything at all.
Indeed, as my team suddenly amassed an insurmountable double digit lead, I noticed that Chris Fure was leisurely rounding the bases while conducting a vibrant business call by cell, almost as if he were taunting Eli directly with his ability to allocate capital at the very same time that he was stealing home plate from his daddy’s crumbling infield. I must confess that this image left me shaken, for even though I am callous and vasectomized, I couldn’t help but think that sometimes it must be stark and hard and bitter to be a prepubescent.
I felt so bad for young Eli that after the game I tried to gently explain to him that his father’s managerial failure was not a reflection of a faulty moral compass, but rather the newly discovered prevalence of Negative Gravity---that repulsive force of dark energy which the latest media reports say accounts for 73% of the known universe. As it turns out, the kid has fervent cosmological intuition, and thus he scoffed at it all with his usual precocity. In fact, he staked out a tiny minority position within the Astronomical community, brazenly insisting that most of the cosmos is actually nothing more than Dark Matter(!)---those annoyingly invisible subatomic particles that supposedly sprung forth from the Big Bang over 7,000 years ago.
Well, aside from the fact that such a theory simply invites ridicule ("They’re there, my sweetpea, ya just can’t see ’em!"), it does nothing to extricate Michael from the raw disgrace of letting his team implode in front of his one and only son. Of course Eli himself seems completely oblivious, showing once again that rare is the resin that binds sagacity to youth. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
7/17/03
Softball: Questions from the Talmud
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11:00, but as of now, all slots are taken. As always, feel free to call for late cancels.
Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes an impassioned post-game debate on whether, when all is said and done, it’s really "better" to be a sentient human being than a clueless but well cared for schnauzer hound…Raymond 845-7552
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