7/14/10
Softball: Stoned (Musings on Science, Theology and Comparative Sport)
Dear People,
On the same day that two billion psychotic soccer fans watched Spain defeat Holland 1-0 (after 102 interminably scoreless minutes—quelle emotion!), Chris Fure’s team crushed my own 22-13. Does this mean that our game was 35 times more exciting, despite the fact that less than half as many people tuned in to view us? Yeah, I think we all know that logically, spiritually and numerically, it certainly does.
Regardless, what could never have happened in Jo’burg was Stephanie’s transformative tie-breaking 5th-inning 3-RBI homer, which propelled Chris’ contingent into the lead for good and literally shattered the little green bucket that marked the left field border. That the ball then instantly ricocheted into the abutting wooded tundra does not diminish the staggering breadth of the Stephster’s achievement, for indeed, her continual giggling as she rounded 3rd and headed toward home will remain a melodious and haunting symbol of the staggering synergies of athlete, ball and ball-camouflaging shrubs when they conspire to change the world.
The point is that I still get teary-eyed thinking about the random arcs of destiny, for truth be told, I was the one who set down that little verdant bucket before the game began, and the fact is that as I was walking away, I saw that it was a couple inches out of line, technically into foul territory when viewed in the context of the other bucki. Alas though, I was too lazy to go back and adjust it, so instead, I told myself that Euclid was totally overrated and moved on. Of course had I been true to my managerial duties, the stupid bucket would’ve been moved, Stephanie’s homer would have been called foul, and my team would’ve won 18-16.
Does this mean that softball is 35 times more interwoven into the abstractions of Calvinistic pre-determinism than other athletic pursuits could ever really hope to be? I honestly don’t know, but in looking back at that wayward container and how I let it sit there, I remain convinced that there is a universal set of mathematical rules that describe with both complete generality and startling precision the way the aerobic universe actually behaves, and quite frankly, when we finally ascertain those rules and look straight into the eyes of the Lord, it’s clear that it will not have been soccer that led us to her revelatory, gorgeous and perfectly deistic pupils. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
7/16/10
Softball: Open Borders
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, there are still, shamefully, six slots left. You are therefore welcome to commit any of the reasonably sane non-community individuals you know who give purpose and clarity to your otherwise meaningless lives.
This week’s field fee is just $4, and that includes a complimentary one year subscription to the Harvard Quarterly Review of Asinine Academic Journals. . .Raymond 845-7552
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