Softball: Philadelphia (A Somewhat Discursive Overview of Events as they Unfold)
Dear People,
Jim McGuire's team pulverized my own, 19-8, and that's in spite of the fact that Alan Shabel pulled off the most spine-tingling unassisted triple play in the history of this community. With my side still nursing a fragile 1-1 lead in the top of the 5th, Paul Horsepool blasted a choppy ground ball straight into Alan's desperately outstretched glove. Then, and in a sight to savor forever, the Shabelator instantaneously spun on his axis, tagged out Maya who was darting for 3rd, beat Stephanie to 2nd, and finally, threw out good 'ol Stallionlegs at 1st with a solid foot to spare! Needless to say, I quickly became both ecstatic and teary-eyed in witnessing such a transformative aerobic achievement. Chris Fure, however, took a somewhat more nuanced approach to honoring his teammate's galvanizing milestone, and thus, for no apparent reason, promptly gave up 13 runs over the next two innings. Ironic.
In any case, I wasn't even going to organize a game this weekend since it's now the 4th of July, and in fact I was thinking we should take off a week just to reflect on what the Founder's birthed into being, exactly 236 short years ago (give or take a couple days). But then I started thinking about what I wrote all of you back in 1998, when our fledgling nation was 7.2% younger. And while I'm obviously not going to shamelessly plagiarize myself as if I were some pitiful narrative narcissist, I do think it's worth considering what I actually did say. . .
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As the 4th approaches, I am reminded of the intense pressures that Jefferson, Adams and Franklin must have felt when they decided to pen that most momentous of definitive divorces, their very lives at stake as cunning little fish 'n chips eating British troops scampered throughout the Pennsylvania bush. These intrepid and indefatigable revolutionaries would have no doubt given anything to play an exciting game of softball, but stuck as they were in the 18th century, they had to settle for yeoman farming and really boring arguments about the nature of mercantilism. I think you see my point. Make that commit. Do it for the children. Do it now. Indeed, the line from Alexander Hamilton to Jackie Robinson to all of you is the very essence of the American experience. . .
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Now look, unlike 14 years ago, you're reading this paragraph on the very day that we as a species may learn if the coyly elusive Higgs Boson particle actually exists! Rumors are flying from the CERN European particle-physics laboratory near Geneva as I peck these very words, though my own meticulously reasoned calculations have already convinced me that the 'lil Higgsters do indeed swirl about us with a precise mass of 126.5 gigaelectron volts. Of course, faith in such results should be tempered by the fact that as much as I'm lovin' the math modules of KhanAcademy.com, I'm apparently still unable to pass a basic midterm in 8th grade algebra. Whatever.
The point is that if these magnificent prairie bosons do in fact exist, our very understanding of the universe itself and our role within it will be forever transformed. Indeed, I believe we'll soon know everything from why there was no time “before the big bang” (unless there was), to why we as a people continue to frantically run about chasing little yellow orbs, as if we're nothing more than a cackle of escaped lunatics from the local asylum. Yes, my friends, the answers will soon be washing over us in waves of ethereal sagacity, and while Chee has only one more game to frolic with the community, I am reassured in the knowledge that upon his return to Borneo, the bisons will be with him. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning.
Happy 4th. . . Raymond
PS: A few of us are taking Chee out to dinner on Sunday night at 7PM, 36 hours before he flies back to his beloved Malaysia. The restaurant hasn't been decided yet, but appropriately, it will most likely be a succulent American feast at a Thai or Indian joint. In any case, let me know if you'd like to join us.
7/5/12
Softball: Another Adieu
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now it is full. As always, please let me know ASAP if you committed and need to cancel, and if you still want in, feel free to get on the wait list or contact me later for news of reopened slots.
Please bring $4 for the field, which, in honor of Chee's last game, includes a complimentary one year subscription to Salemat Datang!: The UCLA Quarterly Journal of Mastering Fricatives, Trills and other Phonetic Bummers in the Standard Malay Tongue. . .Raymond 845-7552
PS: If you haven't already told me and you'd like to join us for a goodbye-to-Chee dinner Sunday at 7 (even if you won't be at the game), be sure to let me know by tomorrow.