(Your Good-time Declaration of Independence Sport)
Dear People,
Congratz to all on Saturday’s richly textured 29-19 Monetesque exploration of softball as a profoundly social phenomenon, a living aerobic canvas on the turn-of-the-century Codornices "scene." Technically, I suppose that my team lost by 10 points, but I think we can all concede that final scores are as relevant to these games as paint is to the impressionist mind---perhaps useful as a medium by which to measure our pain, but ultimately, a meaningless statistical quirk that is swallowed whole by the generally stylish landscapes of our otherwise pitiful lives.
In any case, I will not be around to organize a game next weekend, which as you can imagine, is causing me piercing guilt and sorrow. Fortunately though, I will be here for the next couple days, and just by coincidence, it turns out that this Wednesday is the 4th of July. As some of you know, this magical holiday was practically invented to facilitate the playing of our cherished pastime, and while I’m obviously not going to quote myself as to the validity of such an admittedly brazen claim, I would gently reiterate what I wrote to all of you on July 3rd, 1997…..
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As the 4th approaches, I am reminded of the intense pressures that Jefferson, Adams and Franklin must have felt when they decided to pen that most momentous of definitive divorces, their very lives at stake as cunning little fish-and-chips eating British troops scampered throughout the Pennsylvania bush. These intrepid and indefatigable revolutionaries would have no doubt given anything to play an exciting game of softball, but stuck as they were in the 18th century, they had to settle for yeoman farming and really boring arguments about the nature of mercantilism. I think you see my point. Make that commit. Do it for the children. Do it now. Indeed, the line from Alexander Hamilton to Jackie Robinson to all of you is the very essence of the American experience.
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Yes, it’s four years later, but I believe that these kinds of truths are eternal, and therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Wednesday, July 4th at 11AM, followed by a casual but undoubtedly yummy post-game picnic, IF I get enough commits by TOMORROW MORNING at the latest…..Ray
PS: We should not forget that it was our froggie allies who did more than any other peoples to cleave us from the oppression of the British yolk. Therefore, I suggest the picnic consist primarily of fine French fare, including breads, cheeses, wines and Kentucky Fried Chicken (Le poulet frite de Kentuckie).
Andronicos, Safeway and KFC on Shattuck will all be open. Everyone should bring their own primary grub + a little communal something, such as a chest of ice, drinks, blankets for the grass, fruit, chips, veggies, sweets or extra portions of your core food. Please let me know what you’re bringing so I can fill-in with what’s needed.
7/3/01
Softball: Sovereignty
Dear People,
There will be a game tomorrow at 11AM, followed by a yummy picnic, and as of now, there are still several slots left. In fact, I am tempted to beg for more commits since we still have only a minimal quorum, but out of respect for Jefferson, Adams, and Paine, I’m not going to do that.
Of course, if you want to implicitly endorse continual British control over our land, our economy and our very lives, that’s your business. I for one will play softball on the 4th, thus reasserting a commitment to American independence that I fear has been precariously weakened by the insidious allure of the current Royal family. I would like to think that at least 17 others on this list are willing to do the same, lest we all end up sounding like a bunch of Monarchial Cockney louts….Ray
PS: $2 for the field.