7/1/02
Softball: Your 4th-of-July Enlightenment Sport
Dear People,
Congratz to all on yesterday’s somewhat-less-than-riveting 19-10 manifestation of Ethereal Aerobic Languiditute (EAL), that frightening batter’s rot which shuts down the power hitters of any given team whenever Codornices’ grazing tundras are subjected to searing temps of 82 or above. As best I understand it, these soil-based vapors of insidious off-gassing are as arbitrary as they are odorless, and thus I will not try to "explain" why EAL so mercilessly ravaged Broh’s team while my own was left essentially unscathed. The harsh reality is that there are no easy explanations, life is unfair, and clearly, EAL just doesn’t care. I suggest you avoid EAL. I really do.
In any case, and as some of you may know, this Thursday is the 226th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence (give or take a month). Now normally I wouldn’t bother to try and organize a game on such short notice, but then I happen to start thinking about what I wrote all of you just five years ago, and frankly, I still get chills when I read my own drivel. Of course, it would be completely unseemly and a shamelessly lazy copout to reprint those exact words, so obviously I’m not going to do that. Nevertheless, the fact is that we do live in uncertain times, and thus I believe that the following paragraph, first emailed out on July 2nd, 1997, is worthy of your consideration:
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As the 4th approaches, I am reminded of the intense pressures that Jefferson, Adams and Franklin must have felt when they decided to pen that most momentous of definitive divorces, their very lives at stake as cunning little fish-and-chips eating British troops scampered throughout the Pennsylvania bush. These intrepid and indefatigable revolutionaries would have no doubt given anything to play an exciting game of softball, but stuck as they were in the 18th century, they had to settle for yeoman farming and really boring arguments about the nature of mercantilism. I think you see my point. Make that commit. Do it for the children. Do it now. Indeed, the line from Alexander Hamilton to Jackie Robinson to all of you is the very essence of the American experience....
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I don’t mean to be presumptuous, but sometimes I’ll look at those words and speculate that if Osama Bin Läderhosen had only read them as a youth, perhaps he would now be an 18th century rationalist rather than a 8th century looneytoon. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this THURSDAY at 11AM, followed by a scrumptious BARBECUE, followed by frisbee and/or football, IF I get enough commits by this WEDNESDAY noon…..Raymond
PS: When making your commit, please let me know if you’re staying for the Barbie, and if so, what kind of collective contribution you will be making. As always, all friends, family and never-show-up lurkers on this list are also more than welcome. Suggested contributions beyond your own meat include plastic plates, cups and silverware, paper towels, blankets, ice and cooler, chips, bread, cheese, burger garnishments, more ice, salads, organic greens, fruit salad, desserts, soft drinks, fruit juice, beer, still more ice, sundry ethnic delights and, of course, raw salted herring, blood sausage and kelp.
7/3/02
Softball: The Logic of Liberty
Dear People,
There will be a softball game at Codornices TOMORROW at 11AM, but alas, there are no longer any slots left. However, there will also be a post-game barbecue starting around 1:15, featuring fine fare, cold ale and a cornucopia of mirth for anybody who would like to show up. Finally, there will be an ultimate frisbee and/or football game afterward, which will serve as our personal aerobic declaration. Indeed, it will show the Brits that 226 years later, we as Americans still feel that Thomas Paine had it right when he so prophetically opined that "you colonists could do so way better than rugby, dumb-ass monarchs and lardy cake."
Please bring $2 for the field, your objet de grillage, and communal contributions that give succor to the people…..Ray 845-7552
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