Softball: Musings on the Roberts Court in the Context of an Announcement on Jeffersonian Cuisine
Dear People,
Like a focused Bolivian anaconda that cuts off the life-giving oxygen from its tragically pitiful prey, my team strangled Chris Fure’s, 20-13. Unfortunately, it was way too hot and sultry for me to remember any notable plays from this staggering triumph, but I do recall that in the bottom of the 5th, two thoroughly annoying military-style SUVs drove onto our perfectly innocent homeland and then preceded to slowly meander through the lush verdant lawns of our beloved and pristine outfield. Without warning or apology, they parked in deep left for several minutes, ostensibly to drop off supplies for an upcoming picnic.
Now in fairness, I happen to cherish the very concept of law—Federal, State and especially Municipal—so I already knew what these brazen bozos may not have realized. Specifically, that according to Section 44.52(b) of the Berkeley City Code, it is an aggravated misdemeanor to “…drive any motorized vehicle thru the grass fields of a formally reserved city park, or to engage in any other game-disrupting activities which are commensurate with the behaviors of a presumptuous a-hole.” In all candor, I believe that they violated both the letter and spirit of this transcendent section of the code.
The point is that we are indeed a nation of laws, and I think we can all see that in how the Roberts Court majority has clearly rejected the corrosive scourges of radical anti-democratic judicial activism and results-oriented jurisprudence (with the possible exception of their recent decisions in cases involving campaign finance, gun control, free speech, environmental regulation, executive power, treaty obligations, medicinal marijuana and a few dozen other areas of interest). In fact, I take great personal solace in knowing that the law of the land is finally reflecting the sagacious judicial temperament of AM talk-radio and its teaming audience of modern American philosophes, precisely as our Founding Fathers would’ve clearly intended.
I mention this because just by coincidence, next Sunday is the 234th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and so naturally, I wasn’t even going to organize a game. But then I started thinking about how we as a community have handled this delicate interplay between our respect for the founders and our love for the sport, and while I’m obviously not going to quote myself verbatim, I would gently remind you what I wrote just 13 years ago this week (as well as, for what it's worth, every year between 1997 and 2009):
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As the 4th approaches, I am reminded of the intense pressures that Jefferson, Adams and Franklin must have felt when they decided to pen that most momentous of definitive divorces, their very lives at stake as cunning little fish-and-chips eating British troops scampered throughout the Pennsylvania bush. These intrepid and indefatigable revolutionaries would have no doubt given anything to play an exciting game of softball, but stuck as they were in the 18th century, they had to settle for yeoman farming and really boring arguments about the nature of mercantilism. I think you see my point. Make that commit. Do it for the children. Do it now. Indeed, the line from Alexander Hamilton to Jackie Robinson to all of you is the very essence of the American experience....
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The point is that just because there are those out there who will literally drive through our games out of brazen indifference to our yearnings as an aerobic people (unabashed dufi who blend the worst of Antonin Scalia, Mario Andretti and Benedict Arnold), I still believe that the 4th of July is best feted with hearty friends, fine sport and succulent grub. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, FOLLOWED BY a scrumptious bring-your-own-meat-or-equivalent potluck barbecue, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning.
Finally: Please let me know if you're coming to the barbie (office colleagues, distant family and embittered ex-lovers are always welcome), and if so, what communal contribution you plan to bring. Highly recommended offerings include grills/coal/lighter fluid, blankets to sit on, card tables, paper towels/plates/cups, tons of ice, soft drinks, juices, beer, more ice (bonus points if finely crushed), spatulas, real knives and plastic silverware, side salads, quality breads and cheeses, condiments, onions, mayo, brownies, cake, homemade ethnic entrees that your 14th century ancestors would’ve enjoyed, more ice, chips, assorted fresh fruit, raw vegetables, and if you’re really feeling inspired, a platter of Hog Island clams cooked in the wood oven with sorrel broth, leeks, garlic toast and aïoli…Raymond
7/2/10
Softball: Varied Approaches to Colonial History
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, followed by a succulent bring-your-own-meat potluck barbecue, and as of now, there are still 3 slots left. If you’re coming to the barbie but haven’t yet told me what your communal contribution is, please be sure to bring something yummy or useful.
This week’s field fee is just $4, and that includes a special post-game symposium on a timely topic of pertinence—“King George III or Babe Ruth; Who was better?”. . . Raymond 845-7552