6/25/03
Softball: Distracted
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s competitively impeccable won-on-the-last-hit 12-11 concerto of heuristic aerobicism. Remarkably, neither team ever pulled ahead by more than two lowly runs, and thus I truly believe that every player on that field was more intensely focused on the task at hand than in any game in the history of our community. Or at least until the top of the 8th, when it appears that one of our most reflective and gifted became somewhat discombobulated by the harsh responsibilities of situational base-running.
As Chris Fure came to bat with two out, bases loaded, and the score tied at 9, he had the opportunity to break the game wide open. Sure enough, he quickly smashed a devastating line drive past the yak-laden soils of the center-right tundra, and with it, the kinetic process of a zeitgeist-transforming grand slam was well under way. Indeed, Rick and Franklin reached home before that ball even touched the first peripheral shrubs, and as Chris darted past me at 1st, I felt as if I had just been kicked, and kicked nasty, right smack in the middle of my tiny little gonadal area.
Suddenly though, Chris stopped dead in his tracks, for Nanci, who had started her own grand journey with a totally noble single, had yet to reach half way to 2nd! As best as I could surmise, she inexplicably lingered for the first five seconds after Chris’ hit, in what is technically referred to as an "inert" condition. In fairness, though, five seconds is hardly that long to daydream, and for all I know, she was contemplating the grave monetary risks that now face the Federal Reserve.
The point is that I’m not going to cast aspersions in this medium, for who am I to say that "She should have been paying attention," or that "There are better places to reflect upon economic theory" or that "Even a miserable breeding snail would’ve at least made it to 3rd." For as soon as she realized that she had cost her team two runs (and as it turns out, alas, the entire game), Nanci Pooh looked deep into my baby green corneas with the most stirring blend of kinesiologic contrition and joyous intellectual ferment that I’d ever seen in a fellow athlete. And yes, while there are potential tradeoffs in letting one’s restless cognitive inner-life run unrestrained and free, I happen to think that the search for wisdom and insight is a tad more significant than the fate of a sorry-ass softball team. And therefore there will be a game this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Raymond
6/27/03
Softball: The Four Stooges (A Rare but Irresistible Diatribe)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, all slots are taken. As usual, feel free to call for info on late cancels.
Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes an abstract and rarely available pre-game viewing of the delightfully medieval and staunchly heterosexual souls of Justices Antonin Scalia, Clearance Thomas and William Rehnquist, as they squirm pitifully about in embittered dissent*….Raymond 845-7552
* Sunday’s viewing might also include the soul of Justice Sandra Day O’Conner, whose heartfelt opinion that the state of Texas can outlaw homosexual sodomy, but only if it also outlaws heterosexual sodomy, receives my personal vote for stupidest reliance on the Equal Protection Clause in the history of legal thought. For the record, none of these bozos will ever be invited to softball, which is my full prerogative under the Free Association Clause of the First Amendment. So don’t even ask, they’re not invited….
http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/cgi-bin/getcase.pl?court=US&navby=case&vol=000&invol=02-102
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