6/14/00
Softball: Diplomacy
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s effulgent 14-13 paragon of all that is riveting and righteous in the understated milieu of email-organized amateur athletics. Indeed, this match contained more than the usual grandeur, particularly when my own team’s one point lead with a man on second and two outs in the bottom of the 9th appeared to fatally crack open, as a chilling and final hit lofted into the skies high above the virgin tundra of shallow center-right. Yes, that magical orb’s descent carried with it all the hopes, dreams and nausea of every player on that hallowed field, but ultimately, it was upon the basic competence of just one humble second baseman that the fate of an entire people now rested.
From my own first base vantage point, the spastic backward stumbling and desperate flailing were not initially auspicious. Nevertheless, the ball soon plunged into the sturdy leathers of his trusty mitt, and while the force of the impact caused him to immediately collapse on to the scant larding tissues of his adorable little rump, I think we can all agree that heroism in sport requires neither grace nor style. For the record, he had neither.
In any case, while the sheer glory of this sport acts as an intoxicating shield of geopolitical innocence, I have concluded that we can no longer remain oblivious to the explosive winds of change that shake the outside world. Specifically, with recent developments offering a real chance for glasnost-like openings in both North Korea and Syria, I have decided to officially invite both the Dear Leader Kim Jung Il, and the Untested Opthamological Filial Leader, Bashar al Assad, to partake in our noble experiment in athletic democracy.
While we certainly cannot condone the sordid behaviors of the world’s autocratic lunatics, I am now utterly convinced that we can coax the elusive Jungmeister into further liberalization of his society, if only he could personally experience the lush grasses of aerobic liberty and the simple elation of getting on base. We as a people can arrange for that. And as for ‘ol Bashy, I believe that if he were given the chance to play and thrive among us, the road would soon be taken toward a more humane Syrian society, a durable solution to the Golan Heights, and free badly needed optical screenings for all of our fielders.
Therefore, I will soon be sending official game invitations to these two towering symbols of nepotistic bozoism. And in the meantime, there will be a game at Codornices this Saturday, June 17th at 5PM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond
6/16/00
Softball: Family
Dear People,
There will be a game tomorrow at Codornices at 5pm, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only, includes three days and two nights lodging with "the Miami relatives" (airfare and liquor not provided)……Raymond
PS: Starting tomorrow, I will be bringing a frisbee for post-game ultimate, in hopes of rekindling the bisportal spirit which has seemed to wither amongst us.
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