6/12/02: Afghanistan

6/12/02:

Softball: Afghanistan

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s hot ’n sultry 24-22 epic of ceaseless aerobic attrition and heart-rending mirth. That my own team was able to hold on to its final triumph after falling behind no fewer than three separate times is a telling reminder of the game’s inscrutable capriciositude, for as captain, I certainly know that we were not "better" than Mikey’s team, or for that matter, that our performance was somehow more worthy. No, the simple fact is that as the blazing East Bay sun continued to sear my precious parched trachea and the lead continued to see-saw, I merely suggested to Jen that it was now time for our side to pry open a brand new pint of fresh papaya wup-ass. And frankly, I think the score clearly reflects that ingenious new strategy.

In any case, I would like to briefly turn again to that most delicate of community enigmas, which is our persistent dearth of players without peni. As I already mentioned, two of our best female regulars will soon be gone, and so far impassioned estrogenic replacements have not been forthcoming. In all candor, this situation threatens the health of our entire softball community, and thus if forced to do so, I will not hesitate to call a loya jirga amongst all our peoples, if that’s what it takes to solve this dilemma.

Oh sure, there will be some cynics out there who will see this as an empty threat, indeed, as just my little pretext for being able to write the words "loya jirga" in a widely distributed email. I take umbrage at such crass speculation, although truth be told, I do believe that the Jirganators have given us the most sublime geo-political borrowing in the long and promiscuous history of our cherished native tongue. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond

6/14/02

Softball: Another Shameless Inducement

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM sharp (since the park is again reserved by others at 1PM), and as of now, there are still TWO slots left.

Please bring $2 for the field and arrive no later than 10:55, and if you do all that and promise to behave, I will waive the usual pre-game urine exam….Raymond 845-7552

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