Softball: Dubious Heroes
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s resplendent 12-9 exemplification of riveting aerobic courage. That a single player can be physically pulverized two times in three innings and yet still find the resolve within his spleen to carry on as both captain and pitcher shows a certain je ne sais quoi that seems to defy the very limits of human endurance. Indeed, as he momentarily lain near unconsciousness in the dust strewn aftermath of that first desperate and ultimately pointless slide into second, I could not help but glance back at the protruding belly of his lovely gravid partner, and for those brief frightening seconds, feel the burgeoning pride of a being that had journeyed from zygotehood to the cusp of birth, and now must have suddenly realized that life would soon begin with the rich yield of a magnificent athletic lineage. I get chills just thinking about that. I guess I’m just that way.
In any case, and as you probably know, this Sunday, June 11th, is the 118th anniversary of the official expulsion of the great Richard "Gabby" Hingham, the first, last and only umpire to have ever been banned from professional baseball for intentionally throwing a game!
Admittedly, it seems a bit strained to honor a man whose entire legacy is as a fetid cauldron of corruption in sport. Yet as a softball playing people who have always rejected umpireship as an epistemological fraud, I believe that we are ironically indebted to this gentle but somewhat flawed legendary slimeball. For while we have always believed that no one person can every really "know" if any given pitch is a strike, with the Gabmesiter’s stark warning from the bribe-prone bowels of athletic history, we’ll always know the risks of attempting to prove otherwise. And therefore, there will be a match at Codornices this Sunday at 5pm, IF I get enough commits by tomorrow morning….Raymond
6/9/00
Softball: The Perks of Play/A Shameless Plug for ESLnotes.com
Dear People,
There will a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5pm, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. Please bring $2 for the field, which, as always, includes ample free parking, six complimentary lines of source code from Windows NT 4.0, and a freshly imported shank of virgin Argentine braising steer.
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And while waiting for Sunday’s game, please visit the newly revised and expanded ESLnotes.com. It is worth mentioning here that when you sign up for the ESLnotes.com mailing list, you will not only be helping me establish ruthless market dominance in the sensual and inchoate world of English Language media notes, but you will also be able to tell your cherished funny speaking foreign friends about every synopsized movie as it becomes available.
Listen, this isn’t about you or me, and I think you understand that. So stop dissing your cherished funny speaking foreign friends and immediately go to that site and sign up for the mailing list (It only takes a couple seconds, and I can promise you that there won’t be more than one announcement a month).
Together, we can fight the scourge of linguistic frustration. Bless you….Raymond