Softball: New Adventures in Rulemaking
Dear People,
Chris Fure's team pulverized my own, 12-6, and let the record show that they did so by effectively exploiting a series of somewhat unsightly sensory blunders. Worse yet, I myself may have been the one who initially set the wrong defensive tone in the bottom of the 1st, when Joe P smashed a blistering two-out two-on bullet into deep center-right. The fact is that I was perfectly positioned with the raw Newtonian focus of the seasoned outfielder that I've recently become, yet apparently I still “misjudged” the trajectory of the orb in question. Indeed, I boldly moved forward to snag it cold, yet for crude mathematical reasons that I don't pretend to understand (and of which I certainty don't approve), it callously darted five feet above my desperately outstretched glove. In all candor, I believe that this incident cost me managerial authority as the game later progressed, though in fairness, my peeps expressed their tacit scorn with noble restraint.
Remarkably, two hours and seven errors later, we found ourselves down just 8-6 with two out and two on in the bottom of the 8th, and as Anthony popped up sky high and mellow to shallow center-left, I could already visualize our imminent go-ahead rally. Curiously, though, this particular can of corn began its leisurely descent exactly half way between Dave Snyder and Saadia, and as I watched from the safety of my 1st-base perch, I could hear dueling screams of “I got it!” with ever increasing passion. Of course any professor of literature can tell you that nothing comes easy with two dogs and one bone, and sure enough, neither Snyker nor Spotia “got it” because both were determined to get it. Thankfully, though, neither of our heroes were injured, and despite the pointless surrender of several morale-crushing runs, they could still relish the admittedly ephemeral triumph of final-second collision-avoidance.
The point is that this game offers all kinds of ways to find your path to glory, and with the conclusion of last week's interminable 4th inning brouhaha over determining when a runner has officially crossed home plate, we have, as a habitually rule-weary folk, brought much needed precision to a path which had previously been a consistent scourge of ambiguity. Thus for the record and for now on, a runner has safely scored so long as their body breaks the baseline plane before the ball arrives at home. In other words, their feet do not have to touch the ground in order to beat the throw, and while I certainly know that there are many amongst you who will view this as a radical Trotskyist departure from our traditional aerobic values, I happen to believe it represents what both Snyker and Spotia would agree is the logical result of our own democratic processes-random, corrupt and cryptic though they are. And therefore there will be a game at Codorncies this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning. . .Raymond
5/30/13
Softball: Community (Steve Seskin in Concert! + Sublease Leah's Pad!)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, and as of now, it is full. As always, you are welcome to contact me later for news of reopened slots, and if you committed and need to cancel, please let me know ASAP.
The park fee is just $4, and for this week only, that includes complete infield sinkhole insurance for the duration of the match…Raymond 845-7552
PS: Steve Seskin, the moral backbone of our entire community and a legendary singer-songwriter extraordinaire, will be in concert this Sunday night with two other fabulous musicians! Details here:
http://thefreight.org/steve-seskin-friends
PPS: Leah Maddock, the moral backbone of our entire community, is not a singer-songwriter extraordinaire (as far as I know), but she's way cool and is subleasing her fabulous apartment from June 17 to July 31! Details here:
Hello everyone,
We hope you are doing well. Will & I are headed to Spain for 6 weeks and will be subletting our apartment. We would like for it to be an arrangement with someone we know or a friend of a friend. Have friends coming long-term? Know someone moving to town that needs a place to crash while they meet a rich, handsome, man to buy them an awesome pad in the city? College graduate heading to the Bay to job search? Can't stand your spouse or kids any more? We've got the perfect "retreat" for him/her/them/you!
Please selectively forward this to people (good, kind, responsible people) that you know might be looking for a short-term sublet of a furnished apartment in Oakland.
The importants:
Available Dates: June 17-July 31
Apt. Description: About 1100 square feet, newly remodeled 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom, kitchen and dining area, large living room.
The Building: 30-ish apartments around a courtyard. Street parking. Coin op laundry in the building.
Location: Lake Merritt area of Oakland near Whole Foods
Transportation: 10 min walk to 19th Street BART, near many bus routes.
Rent: $1200 for 6 weeks (yes, that is an amazing deal), security deposit depending on how mature vs. shady we judge you to be... we'll take your first born as collateral if needed.
Now, on to your important questions:
Q: But, wait, Leah, we LOVE pets - how can we get our fix?
A: Not to worry friends! Our apartment comes complete with two very nice cats (as long as you don't make eye contact*) and lively turtles.* You'll get to pop some food in their automatic dispenser (cats) and tank (turtles, of course) every couple-o-days.
Q: 2 cats, 2 turtles, eh? Tell me more.
A: We need someone dedicated to the utter love and devotion that we show our cats and turtles daily. Luxuries like food, water, petting (for the cats, silly) are the repetitive yet rewarding tasks we'll ask you to take very seriously. Seriously. The cats are mostly indoor but do go into the enclosed courtyard as much/little as you let them.
Q: Did I say I LOVE pets? Well, I love them so much I have some. Can I bring them?
A: As long as "them" is an ant farm, hamster (at your own risk of said cats), or lizard, yes.
Q: Since I'm running from the law I don't have furniture, what should I do?
A: Again, no worries, fully furnished. We'll even leave you a roll of paper towels and champagne.* And wear a disguise as you enter and exit the building, please.
Q: I have seasonal affect disorder, is this the right place for me?
A: Yes, we get TONS of light, tons of air, and none of that silly fog from San Francisco.
Q: My goal this summer is to party like a wild animal, inviting people over that I don't really know and having multiple house guests, is this the right place for me?
A: No. Seriously, no.
Q: I like long walks and bird watching, is this the right place for me?
A: Yes. We're right by Lake Merritt, in which birds are omnipresent.
Q: I love to eat, especially in close proximity to hipsters. Will this luxury of the social life be possible if I stay at your place?
A: Yes. This neighborhood has the highest hipster to awesome eatery ratio (42.3 hipsters/100 awesome eatery) in the world. We're near the Lakeshore/Grand area - 15-ish min walk to all sorts of great places including Trader Joe's. Heck, there's even an awesome Farmer's Market on Saturdays nearby.
Q: Does this place have hardwood or faux hardwood floors and an awesome paint job AND is it on the top floor?
A: Yes, yes and yes! Second floor, no elevator (but you've been wanting to exercise a bit more).
Q: I'm part hermit, part exhibitionist - how can I balance this love/hate of the outside world?
A: Perfect! We have wireless internet and yet no TV!*
Q: Is any of this flexible, negotiable?
A: Some of it, perhaps, but email me and we'll chat. The pet sitting aspect is a must.
Leah & Will
leahvive@gmail.com
*Lies: cats are AOK with eye contact. Turtles: basically never move (they ARE turtles). Champagne: yeah right! Okay we do have a television set, there's just no connection to any channel.