5/29/01
Softball: Congenital (A Sobering Realization in Recreational Ethics)
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s grueling six-inning 3-3 pitcher’s duel that so quickly transmogrified into a nearly Wagneresque 19-8 manifestation of incalculable aerobic intensity. Indeed, as my own team pulled away in the bottom of the 7th, I began to swell with a sense of deistic invincibility that seeped into the very marrow of my bones. Still, as the game’s defensive tone dissolved and I suddenly found myself on base in the middle of a stunning 9-run rally, my personal joy was tempered by acute pain in both my tiny little heal and the oozing fresh bruise of my lower back, which had unfortunately blocked the trajectory of a blazing throw to first.
Perhaps it is in the context of these distractions that one can justify my decision to dart from 1st to 2nd and then on to 3rd, even though the hit which triggered this advancement was a gentle single to shallow center-left. Regardless, at this point I am more interested in revealing the profound existential angst that accompanied my endless scrambling between the 2nd and 3rd basemen, both of whom were clearly not interested in either my health or dignity. Truth be told, I thought I could beat them on a wild throw, but as my stamina gave way and the oppressors closed in, I soon felt nothing but outrage, for these bastards were now hunting me down as if I were nothing more than a crippled Tanzanian Water Rhino.
Later that night I savored my team’s decisive triumph, but I also reflected on the cruelty that I had experienced on that long and lonely baseline. And then, just before retiring to bed, I put down my copy of The UCLA Journal of Mackerel and other Pacific Fishes, looked deep into Wendy’s eyes, and promptly broke into uncontrollable sobbing. Yes, it suddenly occurred to me that like the lions, vultures and bony-tongued California door mice before them, those kindly 2nd and 3rd basemen were not being sadistic, but were merely following the majestic and inexplicable laws of nature itself.
Indeed, it’s clear to me that if you are ever caught in the tightening vice of a merciless late-inning pickle, you will undoubtedly experience the starkest emotional abyss in all of sport. BUT, I can now assure you that you don’t have to personalize it, cause that ain’t what it’s about. And therefore, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5:00, IF I get enough commits by this Friday noon….Raymond
6/1/01
Softball: Law School
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5:00, and of now there is just ONE slot left. Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a post-game garden salad with a delightful soy vinaigrette AND a judicially valid summons under Section 412.20 of the California Code of Civil Procedure, requiring your extended presence at a Fresno-based civil trial involving a bitter patent suit between two equally despicable corporate litigants…Raymond
Organizational PS: I won’t be able to confirm the last commit until late this afternoon. As always, those shut out are welcome to call me later for word on late cancellations, and of course, those people that do need to cancel should always contact me asap. Call me a nag if you must….845-7552…….
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