5/16/00
Softball: The Contagion of Underachievement
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s somewhat less than riveting 27-10 display of festive yet dubious kinesiological competence. While I certainly drank deep from the well of aerobic empathy, I have exhaustively reviewed the game footage, and can only conclude that the early, utter, and irreversible collapse of the losing contingent cannot be seen as a failure of the team balancing process. Rather, I now believe that this unsightly implosion was a direct result of a virulent strain of Ineptivirus, that frightening phenomenon in which the inexplicable collapse of just one normally dominant player’s athletic skill-set quickly spreads to others on his team, rendering the entire contingent as vulnerable as an abandoned baby otter in Yak-infested swamp land. Yeah, it’s pathetic.
Frankly, I had gently suggested to the opposing captain as early as the 3rd inning that their slight edge "on paper" was rapidly growing irrelevant in a sea of endless errors, and that he might want to consider a quarantine of the problem in order to stanch the hemorrhaging. Truth be told, we candidly discussed the "moral implications" of having the first baseman in question forcefully removed from the game, and even shot if necessary, and while this course of action was ultimately rejected, I feel grateful just to be part of a community in which serious contemplation of tough ethical choices are an ongoing source of continued recreational growth. And therefore, there will be another match at Codornices this Saturday at 5PM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Ray
5/19/00
Softball: The Allure of the Sensual
Dear People,
It is Friday morning and we are still SEVERAL players short of a quorum. Fortunately, I don’t have any time to grovel, but even if I did, I think you’d agree that such behavior is not befitting a community as distinguished as ours. Nevertheless, IF I get at least 5 more commits within the next few hours, I will give serious consideration to skipping both naked and nude from Codornices to campus while yodeling a medley of classic Armenian rutting psalms….Ray
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