5/15/01
Softball: Family
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last weekend’s 21-20 tension-wrought exemplification of the glories of amateur sport, played out as it was under the inebriated circumspection of a decidedly unwelcome mob of clamorous louts accompanied by their curious female kin. That such an unsavory horde of bozos could occupy our sovereign left field embankment for their own voyeuristic jollies initially left me feeling naked and tender, and indeed, as their bacchanalian cacophony intensified, I was reminded once again why most Israelis still prefer to retain the Golan Heights.
Of course, we as a people do not cower easily, and rather than succumb to their incessant whistles and catcalls, we simply went ahead and gave them two hours of the finest ball they’ve probably ever seen. Indeed, at the end of the game I was tempted to ask for a ticket fee, especially after I later discovered that a few of them were actually Cal graduate students in Public Policy. Needless to say, this is not an auspicious sign as to the quality of the nation’s future leadership.
In any case, and as some of you may know, I am now once again confined to the dark and dank basement of my sister’s oppressive Seattle abode. While most of you frolic freely in the Bay Area or Paris or Costa Rica or God only knows where you choose to lead your contemptibly decadent and sunny lives, I am stuck in front of a computer screen 16 hours a day, the solid gray coating of the Washingtonian stratocumulus clouds only adding to my overall alienation and misery.
In theory, I am here working on literary endeavors that will galvanize the grass-roots and change the world and all that quixotic kind of crap, but in the meantime, I’m stuck toiling under conditions that violate the most basic ethical tenets of modern employment and housing law. Thankfully, a warrant for good ’ol sis’s arrest has just been issued, and therefore there will be a game at Codornices this SUNDAY at 5pm, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning….Ray
5/18/01
Softball: Trapped
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 5:00, and as of now, there are still a few slots left. This week’s field fee is $2, and that includes a complimentary bottle of Clos du Val Chardonnay ’92, which as you probably know, is an intensely delicate yet bold and caring vintage, rubin red in color, and with just the slightest hint of a harmless petroleum additive…Ray
PS: As of this writing, there is a distinct chance that I will still be stuck in my sister’s dark and dank Seattle basement come Sunday afternoon. Nevertheless, I can assure you that I am on top of the situation, and that even if I couldn’t make it, Kathy and Andy will be there with the field reservation, score card, bases, balls, the 10 cherished red buckets, and of course, my own pre-selected individual team rosters, stringently calculated with your finest competitive pleasure in mind (Obviously, I will do everything I can to escape in time, but between the endless assignments, the increasingly spare feedings and now the new alligators and moat, my current situation is somewhat iffy).
PPS: It has come to my attention that my last email was once again corrupted by pernicious cyberforces beyond my control, and that for some bizarre reason, much of the letter’s basic punctuation was either completely omitted or scrambled to resemble abstract algebra. Despite what it looked like, and just for the record, I gave up my opposition to the English apostrophe well over three years ago.
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