5/14/03

Softball: The Way of Things

Dear People,

Congratz to all on last week’s curiously bifurcated 18-12 paragon of momentum-crushing excellence. My side actually found itself down 12-2 at the end of the 2nd, and while I don’t normally like to adjust the teams once a game has started, I was not about to stand back and let the dignity of our entire community evaporate in some kind of freako 71-3 monstrosity. The fact is that there were no fewer than six totally new cherubic faces on the field that fine morn, and while I had been told that Raul was "not bad" and that Andrew was "not bad either," the hard reality is that Raul was actually a stud of stark and compelling power, while Andrew was a genuinely warm and friendly lad, but one whose athletic skill-sets were somewhere between awful and suck-awful. Yes, mes petits champignons, I had to act, and act I did.

In trading Andrew for Raul, I seemed to have affected the general "tone" of the game, for over the next seven innings my team went on to outscore Jeremy’s 16-0. As far as I’m concerned, this was a genuine triumph of courage and resolve, yet the Jermanator later mumbled bitterly that "this score is the reason that the asterisk was invented." Well, over the last few days I have thought about that claim, and while I empathize with his utter humiliation, I simply cannot agree to such a callous besmirchment.

Oh sure, the easy thing would be to write " My team won 18-12,* " but I honestly believe that we won 18-12, or possibly 18-12^, or perhaps the 1812 Overture, or the War of 1812, or even Napoleon’s little adventure in Russia that very winter, but no, my friends, not 18-12.* Look, it’s not my fault that Raul was stark and compelling while Andrew played like my sister, but regardless, this was the unknowable reality of the world I faced, and in adjusting the teams as I did, I certainly did not bend the rules or unduly benefit from some subtle windfall of strategic injustice.

Or maybe I did, but the point is that I’m the one who always has to deal with the inevitable miscalculations that come with ceaseless organic change, and the fact is that the pace of such change is torrid whenever we welcome another inscrutable, pristine and never-seen-before player. To be sure, every one of them brings nothing less than a sublime aerobic tableau on which to paint our deepest fears and grandest aspirations, and that in itself makes it really hard to know how gravely incompetent they’re going to be. Of course the novelty of their presence quickly wears off, and as some of these cherished newbies soon join us as part of the core regulars, we will view them as they view us, indeed, as we all view each other---with the usual blend of stout respect, friendly good cheer and tacit contempt. And therefore there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond


Softball: Comfort for Loved Ones

Dear People,

There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, but alas, for those who dillydallied, it is now full. As always, feel free to ask later if any slots have opened up, and for those who did commit, please let me know asap if you have to cancel.

Please bring $2 for the field, which for this week only includes a complimentary $75.00 term life policy, underwritten by the Livermore Board of Certified Insurers and fully valid for the duration of the game…..Raymond 845-7552

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