Softball: Routine at 50 (Flouting the Risks of TMI)
Dear People,
On a brisk and eerily windy Mother's day afternoon, Pace's team callously crushed my own, 22-14. The only real mom on that field was Enid, so I guess it's appropriate that with both Macabe and Grady in tow, her lethal familial troika led the Paceter's contingent with a frightful barrage of hits that left my side feeling frightened, unworthy and utterly bereft of imperative mojo. The bottom of the 7th was a particularly dispiriting affair with their eight-run 10-error sirocco-exploiting rally, but in fairness, our general ineptitude was spread both wide and equitably amongst virtually all my players.
The point is that it's not easy leading a team of octogenerial Helen Kellers, though at least I personally had a totally valid excuse for the various balls that ricocheted off my mitt. Indeed, just one day earlier I was at the Richmond Kaiser, in their nationally renowned Department of Conscious Sedation (I shit you not-that's what it's called). I was undergoing a surprisingly satisfying colonoscopy, and truth be told, the wonderful benzodiazepine that they used allowed me to dreamily watch my tiny little colon as if I were luxuriating in a five-star medical nickelodeon. Unfortunately, the benzo lingers, and lingers hard, and that's why a mere 24 hours later, my fielding was a tad less than optimal. Of course I didn't see Frank, Mike Davey or Chris Fure in the Department of Conscious Sedation, so whatever lame-ass excuses they have still remain a mystery.
In any case, I mention all this because a couple people have now asked me if I could put the colonoscopic video on my Facebook page. As organizer of this community, I've thought about this long and hard, if for no other reason than I'd like to think my governance here is one of complete aerobic transparency. Nevertheless, I've decided to decline because I have little doubt that there are those amongst you who would take umbrage at the starkly suggestive beauty of my innards, and as I've said countless times before, we're simply not the type of league that spikes the intestinal softball. And therefore there will be a game at Grove Park this Sunday at 4:00, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…Raymond
5/13/11
Softball: 5-21 (Your Official Sport of Revelation)
Dear People,
There will be a game at Grove Park this Sunday at 4, and as of now there are still five slots left.
Please bring $4 for the field, which for this week only includes a special post-game pre-rapture seminar on how to properly dress for the end of the world…Raymond 845-7552
PS: Animal planet….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
PPS: My generation….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EiDvKqRjYn0&feature=related