5/1/02
Softball: Another Forgotten Hero
Dear People,
Congratz to all on last week’s resplendent 15-12 masterwork of understated recreational theater. While its true that the eerie absence of all our great power-hitters lowered the usual intensity, I still reject those who claim that we were somehow mired in the less-than-inspirational "retardo tier" of the greater community roster. And sure, my team technically lost, but given that we popped up no less than three times on two outs with bases loaded, the sting of defeat was assuaged by a certain pride in having stranded so many runners. Indeed, between points scored and runners stranded, I don’t think anyone can really say which is "better," and perhaps that is just one reason why this beloved sport is steeped in such inscrutable majesty.
In any case, and as most of you certainly know, this weekend marks the 93rd anniversary of the birth of Odell "the tongue" Hale, the legendary Cleveland Indians 3rd baseman who is the only player in baseball history to commence a triple play with his forehead! According to the Plains-Dealer, on September 8th 1935, the Indians were leading the fearsome Boston Red Sox 5-3 in the bottom of the 9th with men on 1st and 2nd when bitter Joe Cronin hit a vicious line drive right down the left base line.
Curiously, ’ol tongue-mouth failed to react as the ball came blazing directly toward his head, and thus the rock-hard orb struck him on the left edge of his darling little cerebral cortex before ricocheting right into the waiting glove of shortstop Bill Knickerbocker. Hale instantly lost consciousness and collapsed to the ground, but the Knickmeister, showing a clarion sense of purpose in a time of sudden crisis, ignored his stricken colleague and immediately proceeded to the task at hand. He spun 120 degrees and hurled the ball to second baseman Roy Hughes, who threw it directly to first baseman Hal Trosky, thereby picking off base runners Billy Werber and Mel "the carp" Almada, whose respective failures of judgement cost Boston the inning, the game and their dignity as a people.
Fortunately, X-rays would later show that Hale’s injuries were limited to his brain. Indeed, it was only the local press who inflicted his permanent wounds, with persistent loose talk that the incident on that hot and sultry day merely reflected a general pattern of insufficient focus. Frankly though, I think such criticism was unwarranted, for with stocks plunging again and fascism spreading in Europe, it’s not like the poor guy didn’t have more pressing concerns than where stupid Joe Cronin was likely to hit that pointless leather sphere. And therefore, in honor of this towering symbol of the resiliency of the human skull, there will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, IF I get enough commits by this Friday morning…..Raymond
5/3/02
Softball: An Anomalous Dip in Demand
Dear People,
There will be a game at Codornices this Sunday at 11AM, and as of now, curiously, there are still SIX slots left (Therefore, and for this week only, anybody reading this may commit their non-community friends, acquaintances and embittered ex-lovers, assuming they would actually show-up).
Please bring $2 for the field, which as always, includes both a post-game pedicure and a complimentary selection of fresh greens and squid….Raymond
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